"I got you ONE TICKET to the ROCKET SHOW"

Forewarning: This is The SIBHoD Unbound. I've decided to stop all censorship, in case You haven't noticed. Unfortunately, not only do I not censor navel-gazing anymore, but I also do not edit Rambling.

I blame the fact that I've been middlingly busy with Part Time Work and Class (hahahahahahaha) and simply don't have as much time to slave over the SIBHoD.

However, you will find the first "movie commentary" I've done in forever, as I've not watched a movie in forever, until now.


No, I don't Hate Urbody in the world. Believe it or not, I actually do have friends. I haven't been socializing with them that much, though, unfortunately. Here's the good news: a solid socialization Event very successfully serves the selfish purpose of making me generally less angry. And there's not even violence/rape/abuse involved, but to the contrary, laughter and mirthmaking! I think I may have finally stumbled across a Solution That Works! The real challenge is to force myself out of the house, and to do things that don't drain my "Get-Out-Of-The-Basement" Fund.

(And, in an ideal world, fully 100% of my paycheck would go to this Fund, but even I have to make some allowances here and there.)

But it does make me grateful to know that there's a healthy, happy alternative to Angry Solitude.

Scarleteen is a great dating (read: strictly sex) site because it's not written from the perspective of AFC's, PUA's, and other misogynists; at Scarleteen, Real Women offer a humanistic and realistic perspective.

The problem is, everything's about s.e.x. They outright assume "getting to sex" is easy. Because for average teenagers, it is. The site doesn't have shit about what I, as a 26-year-old manboy, need to know - like how to get a girl to go to lunch with you, or how to get a girl to hang out with you, or how to get a girl to text you. It's understood everyone already automatically knows how to do that.

(Note that I didn't "come-of-age" in this current "facebook / texting" Generation. For all intents and purposes, I'm trying to seduce children who are young enough to BE my children.)

(Hypothetically Seduce, I mean; because I hate people for their Indiscriminate Promiscuity and Obnoxiousness. People Drain me. I don't want to hang out with them.)

Interestingly enough, I did meet one young woman regarding whom my Sinister Intuition was telling me: "Hey, this Woman isn't a Retarded Cunt; Also, she's Smrt, Pretty, and, shockingly, doesn't seem to be Typical, i.e., I would be greatly surprised if she's had 6,000,000,000,000 pricks in her pussy like all the other Normal Typical women her age. Maybe I should ask her to do something sometime, and we could get more comfortable talking to each other."

Read: Inchoate "Interest." That definitely doesn't happen every year.

Yet I continue to be confused. We get along as well as ever, with Actual Talking and Being Comfortable and Friendly and shite (note: obv, she would shite her pants if she read even 1-6,000,000th-of-a-sentence of the SIBHoD, so, uh, I'm steering clear of mentioning Anything about my secret H8tr Life), and I've even "sacked up" and invited her to lunch as casually as I could. I started out casual but regrettably ambiguous; then, later, became slightly more nervous but slightly more unambiguous: "wanna go to lunch/movie sometime this week?" (Some social coaches encourage defining such an Unambiguous Timeframe, so as to clarify/unambigufy your Intention.)

So, most signs would point to her being Totally Uninterested in hanging-out with Classwar. But: because I think every other woman in the world is boring, stupid, obnoxious, excruciating, third-rate, or a filthy whore, or I don't get along with them At All, or any combination of any/all of these, then I don't have any of the crucial BACKUPS. Believe me, I wish I did. It can be annoying hating people so much you just don't want to hang out with them. That they're not even worth being backups. Because then you have far fewer chances to put your dick into holes.

But I'm still hoping against hope. The dame seems really shy and socially awkward anyway. Even by MY standards. So: while I certainly wouldn't mind meeting some/many Backups, I don't want to write this one particular bag-of-walking-tits-mouth-butthole-and-stenchy-genitals completely Off, either.

Not saying I wanna get married or anything, but it'd also be pretty nice to get some make-out action for the first time in One Hundred Years. I wish Scarleteen had some advice about that. Instead of assuming everybody were cumburping cumcumpster whoresluts who were born with the innate and infallible ability to give and accept invitations to hang-out.

(Yes, I said "CumCumpster." Not a typo.)


Leonard Cohen's music stands the test of time. Seriously. I think I could listen to "Dance Me To The End Of Love" several times a day for the rest of my life and be a better person for the experience. I've heard this song 6,000,000 times and it's still been stuck in my head for days. THE song of the post FO SHO. Forget Mayhem. Forget Dark Tranquillity. I don't even have TOM WAITS in my head right now. It's all Leonard.



Could we claim that repairpal.com provides realistic estimates of car repairs? The site is convenient, informative, and efficient...but is it Real?

The Starter on my car has finally failed and I'm (conservatively) trying to squeeze Boku Benjis across Teh Spreadsheets.

I hate cars; cars are stupid and G; So are the men who like them; And, finally, the women who like cars and like the men who like cars are also Stupid and G.

A new UM study predicts that Michigan will lose approx 300,000 jobs this year (one year from today? or remainder of calendar year?); also, perhaps something about MI continuing to lose jobs until unemployment "stabilizes" by the end of 20 and godblessed 10.


The new tentative gameplan is to "knock out" classes that realistically comprise the "core" of a Business Administration concentration: Accounting, Economics, Management, Marketing, Business. I don't really have a "long-term plan" here, but by the time I do figure the LTP out, I will be well-poised to enter an MBA program. Or unemployment will have "stabilized" and I can use my Business Education to get a job at Best Buy or Home Depot.


This is the problem with hating everything: you don't develop real sincere ambitions, and you do things out of a sense of begrudged, resentful obligation. But even that is better than doing absolutely nothing at all.


I was never gung-ho about the Academic PhD Track because I disliked both the intense politics and the intense, no-looking-back tunnel-vision it seemed to require. I was interested only in the (admittedly ungetawaywithably seductive) Socioeconomic Trappings. But you cannot get those trappings without the Politics or without the blinding intellectual focus. I might even call it "Myopia" but that would be somewhat inaccurate, as well as very insulting to the spirit of Interdisciplinarianship.



I'm trying to discover books and movies which make great use of the following themes: being down on one's luck, not getting a break, no second chances, aloneliness, isolation, boredom, ennui, and, most of all, hate and anger.

"I Stand Alone" is obviously a prime example. I have been watching that over and over and OVER again.

"Notes from Underground" by Dostoevsky also seems to be a decent choice, but I have to obtain a copy of it.

See, many books/movies/stories contain some kind of conflict regarding the hero's relationships with others: Now, while I do Luv a nasty, bitter Divorce Drama, I'd also like to see more of general misanthropy and alienation, in which the hero doesn't even have these relationships to begin with.

Maybe something about a homeless man who is utterly alone and spends all day at the library thinking really weird, perverted, antisocial thoughts.

Or maybe a young man who hates women so much he hasn't been on a date in five years.

I really enjoy Ariel Schrag's tales of Adolescent Angst, but, again - she has too many friends/acquaintances. She's always socializing and having sex. I want to read a story about somebody who spends 95% of their time alone and whose (minimal) interactions with others are 100% AWKWARD FAIL. There will be no soul-baring emo conversations and especially no physical body-on-body action.

I guess I could just watch I Stand Alone again.

"American Psycho" is all right, but I'm just not really in the mood for a homocidal sociopath.

Steve Martin's "The Lonely Guy" is a quaint little film, but it never really realized its potential imho. I would hope for it to be the tip of an iceberg of tragic loneliness.


Been listening to post-2000 Dark Tranquillity on my own recommendation from last post. It's rully vury likeable. I would actually see these these guys in concert if they weren't part of some ridiculous Package Tour like they often are. I do regret forgetting about them the past coupla years, though.

Songs [Secondary to "Dance Me To The End of Love"] O' The Post:

DT: "Final Resistance"



Sometimes you forget that DT holds the power to make you bang your fracking head off, and then they drop an album-opening song like this just when you think they've "lost their edge."

DT: "Auctioned"



This is off DT's most "pussy/faggy" album "Projector," in which their singer made an unreturned-to 180 in his style. I didn't like it too much as an angry 19-year old, but now I luv it. He sounds like a gothic retard, but the swede's got some soul fo sho. This particular tune has never failed to send some shivers up my cynical spine for 10hundred years. DT also generally writes lyrics that aren't terrible, a feat which is real challenging, and real impressive. "Where did I sign? Did I miss the auction where my life went under the club?"

(Not really sure what "the club" is, but I always assumed it was the gavel they pound at the end of an auction. I always loved the idea of your life being SOLD OUT right from under you, while You just stood there, helpless and perhaps not even cognizant.)


David Lynch is doing this documentary series about Normal People on the fringes of life. Lonely, Poor, Weird, Ugly Everyday people. I should probably be watching that, no?

The t-shirt has somehow become a big fashion statement in the past couple of years. Cool Kids get "thrift" t-shirts with ironic slogans/images on them; Mainstream Everyday DoucheFags get t-shirts with squiggly, skewed, pencil-thin designs on them. I myself am guilty of wearing t-shirts with a rather "boys' butthole-licker" sensibility. And Proud Of It!

If you can't write with coherent grammar or spelling, you should never write a Poem or Lyrics.

Not All Women S 10 million D's a day. And with some, you can even tell within minutes that they don't. These are the Real Tuff Cookies, though, because you have to come to terms that even if they don't S 10 Million D's a day, you're still not too thrilled when you find out they only S 1 D a Week, for example, You damn puritanical perfectionist.

I just can't watch shows like "Rock of Love" or "I Love NY" where trashy idiot women are mashed-up up with trashy idiot men. Perfect Non-Trashy Women who S only 1 D Per Week happen to LUV these shows, though. FAIL.

I'm a firm believer that Thangs are at their most fragile/vulnerable when they're in The Formative Stages, which is why I, these days, prefer to Err on the Side of Caution. Still. I think some amount of anger/frustration is justified when you want somebody to go to the movie/lunch with you for an hour or two, and they always evade it. It's justified because you feel like a total foolish faggot wanting to hang out with someone who doesn't want to hang out with you, and you can't even be justified at them for what is really only a simple act of free will; a volition; a choice. You just get angry that Things Just Couldn't Be Different.

But Oh Well. At least you're taking Business classes. You might still have time to hang-out with 21/22 year-olds when you're 30, right?

I'm toying with the idea of joining Facebook again, simply because it's the best way to get invited to things. But I think I would start a completely new profile rather than re-activating my old one. Nothing like being envious at the success of people I haven't even seen in 4 years.

"Emma Watson Wardrobe Malfunction"

Oh, dear. This is really nothing to write home about, but I'm sure it will hold minor interest for all You perverts who think Emma Watson is a pretty and classy young lady.

Fortunately, we don't hear much about Ms Watson's "Britney Moment"; Unfortunately, she did have such a moment. WhereIn you got to see her STRETCHY PUSSY. Yukkk.


WHATEVER WORKS

This is total fantasy on Mr Allen's part. You simply have to suspend all disbelief and accept that a dumb-as-shit Evan Rachel Wood is going to constantly throw herself at Larry David and he's going to HATE it. He also Breaks The Fourth Wall more than a few times. You will not be unopinionated.

ERW is ridiculously beautiful. LD rates her as a 6 or 7. I would give her a solid 8. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I'd be the last person to say she's ugly...but, lord, I was simply taken aback. Totally Dateably Attractive, and you could be assured that Mr. Manson could not have possibly stretched her out too much.

But seriously folks. Back to the movie. LD hates everybody and everything, blatantly judging everyone as inferior idiots. He uses colourful words such as "cretins" "imbeciles" "mental midgets", and, most notably, "inchworms."

ERW's character will definitely annoy a lot of people/women. The movie as a whole is unflattering to women. But hopefully the audience is mature enough to realize that all the characters are overt caricatures. All Sledgehammer, No Subtlety here.

The movie was actually written in the 70s, and it certainly conveys that youthful, brash zaniness that Woody has gradually toned down since the 80s. You'd do yourself (and the movie) a great service to approach it as Vintage 70s Allen and NOT hit-or-miss Recent Allen.

This is not to say it's a solid Hit, though. We're not talking about his greatest work here.

But for die-hard fans like Mr Classwar, it is solid enjoyable entertainment.

Realistic/Rational viewers might justifiably walk out of the theatre, saying "Sorry. I just cannot buy this total horseshit." This is so absolutely not the real world. I, however, appreciated that aspect. Allen's movies have always contained a decent amount of Escapism, and I consider that a plus.

Just to give you an idea: ERW appears as a runaway on LD's doorstep, begging for shelter. He constantly verbally abuses her from the moment he meets her. To be sure, her character is very annoying, and Scarlett Johannsen could never get away with playing the role. Allen needed somebody even younger, bolder, and more waifish. ERW pulled it off, and by playing this obscenely unrespectable character, I gained some more respect for her as an actress.

There's a semi-touching scene where LD wakes up in the middle of the night with a panic attack and ERW (face-meltingly radiant) puts on a Fred Astaire movie and curls up next to him on the couch, wearing something unbelievably skimpy. LD responds rather indifferently.

I liked that ERW contained a semblance of "innocence" in that she never really threw herself at LD per se, but all the while she appears as the utmost temptress. But with a heart of gold. I enjoyed her so much, I was fooled by the fantasy into thinking it would be possible for me to actually "date" a Dumb girl. Then I realized it was Typical Allen Fantasy Horseshit.

There's also considerable mockery of religion. LD is a devout atheist and despises Christians. And - not to spoil too much - there's the classic line "GOD IS GAY."

I was surprised at how much LD did NOT fall into Typical LD Mode. He defers to Woody at all times, such that it's always Woody's movie. He's essentially restraining himself to play The Woody Character, and he does a remarkably good job. Not that they don't have their similarities. But it's nice to see Woody using another old jewish man to be his stand-in, as opposed to some handsome young boy.

The cinematography is, as per usual, excellent. This time it's sunny and inviting.

I was pleased to see Woody being playful, ridiculous, and over-the-top once again. Still, that's an artifact of this script sitting in the drawer since his Superridiculous Days.

This is not going to win Allen any new fans, (even LD fans) and it will probably lose him a few more fairweather fans (even LD fans). For the faithful, though, it is a Sheer Delightful Romp. Women will not like it because it openly misogynistic and masturbatory.


I'm sitting in the library because I felt like getting out of the house, and in the row of computers directly facing me there is a young man having some sort of damn semi-seizure. I wouldn't quite call it "epileptic" because he is not flailing per se, nor does he seem to be in any sort of discomfort. He's rocking his upper body / head to and fro rather vigourously, like an even more extreme version of some orthodox jewish person praying. We are all doing our best to ignore this phenomenon, which began about 15 minutes ago. Before that he was relatively "normal." Time To Pop Another Pill, Son.


One of the reasons I like Libraries so much is that they are a haven for freaks: misfits, outsiders, loners, derelicts, disenfranchised, perverts, spasses, schizos, madmen. Not necessarily dangerously violent murderous madmen, though. The worst you'll get is the random spatter o' batter somewhere you least expect it.


I got a sales-oriented book from the library so I can be more effective in my communication. Closing the Deal; Asking for The Business; and the like. This is a good notch more respectable and legitimate than "pick up artistry," which is disgusting, offensive horseshit. It Offends ME, for gods sake.

Semi-Interesting Movie Preview: They are making a movie adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's "The Road", starring an impressively bearded Viggo Mortensen. I have a smidgen more respect for McCarthy than I do for most published authors.


Back into BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. I'll say it: The "pilot-miniseries" is excruciatingly long. I stopped watching it. You don't even need to watch it; I'd almost recommend not watching it, and starting with the first official regular-series episode, "33." Like most Stories, this one fits best in the 40-minute timeframe. Edward James Olmos is solid g.t.: he has a great voice and a great, pockmarked face. (I honestly think he could play a decent Bukowski with the right hair/makeup.)

There's a female pilot character named Kara, played by an unknown actress named "Katee Sackhoff" (hahah, "Sackhoff.") The character is brash and tomboyish and I liked her almost immediately. BSG has gotten some kudos for having multifaceted, role-breaking Women.

The show seems to be much more about Human/Spiritual Nature and Big-Time Morality rather than Space Bullshit. Which is more than fine by me.

But what do I know. I only started watching the show to get my "foot in the door." Good God.


RESIDENT EVIL

I wasn't joking about this movie kick uh? I'd put this one on a Liberry Waitlist months ago when I was still gung-ho on the Survival Horror Genre. It finally came it. Not really A LOT to say about the movie: Milla Jovovich was rather pretty. The big take-home point is that RE was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson of "Event Horizon" "fame", and his style oozes from every scene in the movie: Intentionally, hilarious bad dialogue; grandiose, epic, meticulous, kubrick-esque set design and cinematography (big ups!); music-video-esque stylization; and, completely overbearing use of music - electronic, darkwave, industrial/metal.

So, naturally, PWS Anderson's style fits the movie like a glove and makes it immediately watchable and nonboring. You're thrust right into the middle of the action. There's a great scene where a guy is cleanly diced into many bloody cubes by a grid of lasers. They also have "The Licker" you know and love from the games. And if you use your slow-motion feature, you can pause it on two key scenes where you can see Ms Jovovich's Nipple, and her Busch. WIN. (Not that I'm a fan of nudity.)

The bad news is: the movie gets boring about halfway through. The people are stuck in an underground building 90% of the movie, and the intended "claustrophobia" is nowhere near as effective as in Anderson's "Event Horizon."

Oh well. I didn't even fast-forward once, though, and I'm glad to say I finally watched it. I would like to see more of PWSA's movies, because I do like his style. Albeit Cheezetastic.

The DVD came with RE: Apocalypse (i.e., II) on it also, which, while unfortunately not done by PWSA, it does takes place in the actual Raccoon City, and may (or may not) ape the form of the classic PS1 game "RE2". We'll see if I can stomach it. Probably not.


True Artists like Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen are So Real, and So Good, that the audience will burst into raging applause right in the middle of their songs. They know they're in the presence of a living legend.



I would like to see F.F. Coppola's new movie "Tetro", which is apparently all artsy-fartsy, emo, and stars VINCENT GALLO. It is playing at the Main Art Theatre if any Real Women want to go with me and get Faceraped.


Afterword: Well, it took a long time, but it seems summer has finally arrived. Summer is when one can comfortably wear short-pants and short-shirts throughout the majority of the day (i.e., it does not get freezing at night.)

Still, One needn't use that as an excuse to S D's without a Dental Dam. (And Yessss, One should probably use a different Dental Dam for each D One S's.)


(Afterword 2: At this point there was originally a long stream of hideously hateful invective. I honestly do not know how that got there. It must have been a botched copy-and-paste job, but I don't even remember writing that stuff in an Uncensored file in the first place. It could very well be Demonic Possession.)