sesame chicken 'n' survival horror

There was/is this guy William Glasser who founded his own school of psychotherapy called "Reality Therapy". I like the name. It involves "choice theory". I really don't know the difference between Reality Therapy and, oh, say, Carl Rogers's Person-Centered Therapy, but I'm in no mood to do the research right now.

But I do recall that Glasser said something insightful about The Dangers Of Alcohol: that alcohol was triply pernicious because:

1. It is Mainstream Society's Drug-of-Choice

2. #1 is true because: alcohol gives people The Illusion of Being In Control

3. BUT, actually, it diminishes one's capacity for control.

I thought that was an astute observation, Because "control" is a Hell Of Multifaceted thing. I'd wager that many drinkers are drinking to gain Self-Control - "I'll be the life of the party! I'll say all the funniest things!"

But, actually, alcohol turns you into an embarrassing buffoon. You just don't feel nervous and awkward, even as you're making a Scene that is far more awkward than You being your sober, awkward self.

Still, I'm not gonna sit here and lie to people. I do enjoy the occasional cocktail. In fact, once in a while, I enjoy the privilege of Getting Raging Drunk.

That's my problem with AA-style Recovering Alcoholics. A lot of them seem to be taking it one day at a time, living in CONSTANT FEAR of falling off the wagon. Why not allow yourself a "mulligan" every now and then? It's kind of similar to Budgeting a Big Expense into your Spreadsheet: I think if you Prepare for an Event of Getting Raging Drunk, and then more-or-less Stick To Your Rules, then you can getwawaywith guilt-free, embarrassment-free Fun, and have very little to regret whilst you suffer the inevitable Biological hangover.

It's analogous to psychedelic drug-users who control the "set and setting" for their "trip." I don't think this is being an Anal Control Freak. I think it's being as smrt, mature, and responsible as one can possibly be given one's choosing to put poison in their body.

I would never want to Quit Drinking cold turkey, simply because I do honestly enjoy the feeling of being Raging Drunk. I can exercise CONTROL over when and where I do this, however.

Do you know some of the things REAL alcoholics do? You don't want to know. They do a lot of harrowing, terrifying, Real Alcoholic stuff on a regular basis. Which I don't do. On a regular basis. I'm not gonna say I've never done "hair-of-the-dog". I'm not gonna say I've never endangered my life and the lives of others. Or that I've never done anything I regretted. Or that I've never polished off a fifth of whiskey in one sitting. Or that I've never gone into work hung-over.

But I've never done any of these things as Regularly as a Real Alcoholic, and I certainly haven't done them recently.

Audience: "Wow. I've never seen someone so deeply in denial. What a textbook alcoholic. Now I'm gonna go GET DRUNK and HAVE SEX."

And You thought I was smug!

I went through a period somewhat recently where I was Losing My Edge. Losing Control. Drinking at the wrong places at the wrong times. This was no good for no one, and I'm glad I'm not really in that Period any more.

But I was just reminiscing about some of the Really Classic Times of getting raging drunk. They usually involved me playing music, playing a drinking game, having an exclusive few other people also getting raging drunk with me, "college parties", and/or making-out with girls.

So I still get raging drunk. Lately, though, it's been as part of a small group at the bar. And we drink Lite beer and objectify women and talk about "facefarting" and "poopnoses" a lot.

That's all fine and dandy, but.... we're still scarin' away the ladies.

It's not that men can't be drunk douchebags whilst they're around Teh Laydeez. There's a lot of dudes who are drunk douchebags around a lot of ladies. It's our lack of networking skills that's largely to blame. Plus we are really big douchebags. And I'm an especially arrogant douchebag. Always thinking I'm so much better and smarter than everyone. That kind of turns people off.

But at least I'm not as excruciating as some people. Recent examples:

1. When I saw the movie "Defiance" the other day, I was hoping for some peace and quiet. Nope. An ethnic man - a lone eagle - came in and sat in the row behind me. He started talking loudly on his phone in a language which kinda sounded like spanish but I don't think it was. It coulda been just about anything. Serbian maybe. People speak a lot of weird languages.

Then he proceeded to LAUGH AT EVERYTHING IN THE MOVIE. EVERYTHING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. Everything was a double-entrendre. A dead guy hanging from a beam with the sign "JEW LOVER" around his neck was funny. (OK, that was kinda funny.) And Lone Eagle would go "UH-OH!" whenever there was some Tension Rising. And he ate his popcorn very loudly, smacking his lips and breathing loudly. And he ate two - maybe three - bags of popcorn. X-tra large.

After a while it started to get a little funny. Then it crossed back over the line to excruciating, because, mental/developmental problem or not (spastic/autistic/sociopathic), I just wanted, ultimately, to watch the Dramatic War Movie in peace and quiet.

But, as I say, this wasn't a case of African-American Audience (tm). This was just an autistic guy being really weird. Still, excruciating. Overbearing. FRIENDSHIP OPENING GAMBIT FAIL.

2. A few weeks ago we were at the Public House getting Drunk off pitchers of Miller Lite, and, believe or not, I was actually being friendly and social, to the point where I was Talking With Strangers. There was a drunk 37-year-old Southern Man from Alabama sitting next to me and we started having Drunken Small Talk. It quickly took a turn for the worst as he became an obnoxious, overbearing boor who wouldn't stop talking, and then I got sucked-in to a game of pool with him, where he continued to be obnoxious, and I looked desperately for An Out. Jesus Christ.

3. I was sitting at my Employment Post and helping a 33-year old Latino-American man find some information. Some completely normal small-talk turned into a 45-minute SESSION in which he gave his life story as a military man (USMC) and proved himself to be the most arrogant, obnoxious, rude, disrespectful, misogynistic, homophobic, annoying person ever. I made my responses short and shorter, trying less-and-less opaquely to get him to go away. He wouldn't.

WHO SITS THERE TALKING SOMEBODY'S EAR OFF WHO OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT WANT TO BE TALKED TO?

Even I can "read cues" better than that!

Where and How the Hell do people like this Get Jobs?

I've been a bit bored by The Political lately, but, hell; I can't assume everybody else is.

Something about GM being bought by the Government. I read a couple phone-in editorials in the paper condemning the America-bashing Big Brother Obama and his thrust towards Socialist Big Government.

I'm not going to pretend to know all the little details like all the Joe Q Publics do, who make sure to do all their research before calling The Macomb Daily. I can only offer pseudo-insights, Captain Obvious Style.

While I lament not getting a Useful Degree, a few of my high-school cohorts did get Useful Degrees and are now working in The Auto Industry. That must really suck balls: actually having a useful degree and finding out your whole damn INDUSTRY is tanking.

And it's not just manufacturing and engineering. It's advertising and marketing and finance and just about everything in Automation Alley, because it's all Intimately Intertwined to the tanking auto industry.

Hell. It's a crap shoot. It's getting to the point where it's just as economically-reasonable to become an ARTIST.

But then you'd lose any claim to respect.

There was an interesting talk on Fresh Air with this Boston Globe writer about The Worth of Intellectuals. Because, in today's Tuff World, all those Literature-Lovin' PhD's seem especially Useless. But Fuck that. I don't think it's useless. Maybe because I know some real good kids in the field, and I don't want them getting hosed. (Or competing with me for those coveted Retail Sales Jobs, for that matter, harharhar.)

All I know is, I never cared for Ideas enough to make a Career out of 'em. I do it all for The Nookie, You see.

I'll be real happy when my Movin and Shakin classes start. At least then I can claim to be a bit more useful. I'm excited to PWN the classes. To really suck the instructors' dicks off. After the first big assignment, they'll be coming to ME and saying "dayum, you're really good at this. I know some people who could really use you for a job."

And then I'll say "Thank you," bone up on my interview skills, get a better-paying job, and, for the coup de grace, try to sweet-talk my way into paying 150 dollars a month to rent out somebody's closet. Then I will Subvert The Closet by bringing girls in there to Heterosexually Bone Down Hard.

Visualization: When I'm mindful enough to remember, I like to use the "stop button" and "next track button" Visualization Technique. The initial Triggering thought usually involves some paranoid variation on the combined themes of "women", "nostalgia" and "professional success." Press stop, then press "next track"; which could be anything, but hopefully something more constructive. (see "fried chicken" topic later.) The more sensory details you can add to the visualization, the better. E.g., I like to see my finger pushing an actual button, and THEN I imagine the "whirring" noise made by skipping to the "next track." The "whirring" is crucial.

My Girlfriend Amanda Marcotte recently wrote an electrifying Blog on Morality and Religion. I.e., that religion is absolutely not necessary for morality. Indeed, religion may well be anti-moral, as it Imposes morality From Without - in a very Authoritarian manner, no less - and Religion presupposes that humans cannot be inherently capable of morality by their own free will. It "implies" that humans cannot "freely choose to do good" without a Stern God brandishing the threat of Eternal Soul Torture. (ridiculous ungettable Opeth reference ftw)

Again, nothing new here, but I love it when Bloggers articulate hot shit in a nice, neat, pretty little Package. I'm personally too Angry about this sort of stuff to write anything truly profound.

And, personally, I much prefer being sledgehammered by Marcotte's message than I do to being sledgehammered by wingnuts' message that we are all evil hellbound animals but for the saving grace of god. That's even more misanthropic than my own atheistic brand of human-hating.

Yeah, we're mostly evil animals, but there is a minority of good and smart people (like myself haha) who try to behave morally because to do so is its own (albeit egotistic) reward.

Uh-Oh. This just in. I'm receiving one of those periodic Channelings From Mr. Weiss:

I would like to "get revenge on women", but I wouldn't want to "get revenge" on a woman who doesn't deserve it. In other words, I would feel terrible if I corrupted an "innocent", "angelic", "pure" young girl. In other words, I want to break a heartbreaker's heart.

I pride myself on my nonpareil skeell of dishing out verbal abuse. My goal concerning Relationships With Women is to utterly emotionally annihiliate the woman. If she doesn't require YEARS OF THERAPY after I'm done with her, then I haven't done my job. I want to permanently scar Them. Trauma. Give Them dumptrucks of baggage.

What A Nice Guy (tm) !

What a Moral Guy (tm) !

Oh, wait, there's more. This time Mr Weiss has a HANGOVER:

this is how we type how we type how we type how we type how we type goodness gracious I could eat 6 million sesame chickens RIGHT NOW, if i were a chicken I would be a sesame chicken, absolutely a fried chicken, FRIED CHICKEN, something about that just rolls off the tongue, i have a hardon for FC, FC rivals even x-lovers, although all the more current and ongoing, a lifelong relationship, gimme some FC with some mashed potaters, smothered in gravy, good golly miss molly, i just can't stand the wait. this is cruel and unusual torture.

Jesus Christ Almighty.


How come some depictions of Maslow's "heirarchy of needs" have "Sex" in there, and some don't? I do find it hard to believe that such an extravagance could ever possibly be on par with food and shelter and all that.

You ever get drunk on a Wednesday night and then you come home and drink a "deuce-deuce" while getting absolutely PWNED in Final Fantasy X while listening to Bob Dylan excessively loud and then your mother knocks on your door and scolds you in a disappointed stern voice because you only ever listen to music when you're Obviously Drunk?

Ahhhh: the joys of being Malemployed in Recession-era Michigan.

But that's ok, because taking one accounting class and one business class are going to make me eminently more marketable OVERNIGHT, and will result in me IMMEDIATELY finding a new job in which my pay rate increases EXPONENTIALLY.

I never had a "normal" adolescence. I don't think this can ever be a valid excuse for being a fuck-up as an adult, however. It is a very valid excuse for trying to ""re"-claim" one's adolescence with 20-year old girls. However.

I like to deprecate myself as a "complete and utter failure with women", but the fact stands that I have indeed been quite successful with women. I hate to be a boastful braggart, but there have been times where ridiculously, ungetawaywithably cute young women were throwing themselves at me, to the extent that I even achieved the fabled, vaunted genital erection.

But add enough time, though, and sometimes I actually do believe that I have been "a complete and utter failure with women." But it's just not true.

Does anybody really believe that Kentucky GRILLED Chicken is really going to take off? Am I the only sane person on this planet?

I love fried chicken, and not just because I fetishize The Negro Mystique. I stand by my belief that Fried Chicken is, and always will be, one of my favourite foods. It simply tastes THAT damn good. I even just like the sound of the words*. Once I become an Independent Man with my own kitchen, I can assure you I'll be cooking Fried Chicken on a very regular basis. There's absolutely no reason I shouldn't have my own Original Recipe. Hell. I'll have Fried Chicken PARTIES.

Did you know that John Wayne Gacy's Final Meal before his execution was KFC?

Like any other red-blooded, non-virgin amerikkkan gamblin' man, I also enjoy me some Pad Thai. I usually go with Beef Pad Thai, not chicken, however. Pork is also a healthy alternative.

Here's a blast from the past: DINERSTY. That word either means everything to you, or it means nothing. This was a chinese restaurant in ann arbor which closed over three years ago, and I've been searching vainly ever since for anything to approximate the experience. I don't think I ever will. But dear god, I wish I could go back to DINERSTY just one more time.

What's even the point of having a Pseudonym if the cover of the book says "blabla WRITING AS blabla"? (Only Sane Person II)

Eating disorders are really fascinating. They really do exist. I had a pseudo-proto-faux-relationshit once with a woman who was Bulimic. Or at least I insist she was Bulimic. Also, a very skinny young woman just turned in a Dieting book. There's only one category of people that ever needs to "diet", and it's absolutely not Skinny Girls, ya feel me? But that's the Tragedy of Eating Disorders and the Body Dysmorphic Disorder that underpins them.

Diets are retarded merely in principle alone. You can trust me: I went from being a ragingly overweight slob to being a medically-normal-weighted person, simply because I adjusted my Calorie Intake appropriately, and became slightly less sedentary. And I have not regained the weight because I do not overgorge Calorie-Laden foods so much any more.

In normal, workaday amerikkkan society, women are not treated, nor do they behave, as anything but Mere Fuckholes. There's only one thing women are good for. This is understood as the law - taken for granted - and neither men nor women question it. It's not always an "active" brand of misogyny.

It is, however, kinda superficial and sad. You hear stories - guys bragging - about all the "fun" they have "gettin' it wet" inside "easy, good-looking" Young Girls who are frequently "fucked-up" on benzodiapezenes and other consciousness-numbing drugs. Imho, I don't think this is anything to BOAST about. To the contrary - It's kinda sad for all parties involved. If some "xanxed-out Slut" were throwing herself at me, I'd be a little concerned for my safety, not to mention hers. And I certainly wouldn't see the woman as having alot of "potential". But it seems like this type of behaviour is simply de rigeur for the ~20ish age group. You do grow out of it.


But you can't Opt Out of it, because we live in a Schmatriachy.

The reality is, I've had the utmost Culture Shock for the past 3 years; Culture Shock which is so profound that I never remember it's there. I still haven't gotten used to the cruel, harsh, disappointing, disillusioning Real World. Sure, drunk girls had thrown themselves at me in college, but at least they had hopes and dreams and brains and weren't preggers by age 21.

This is So obviously all a Matter of Socioeconomic Class; but that doesn't explain it away. I don't care what kind of Matter it is, I just care that is IS a Matter, and that it has suffocated all of my Libido.

When a community's SocioEconomicStatus/Privilege limits one's Life Options, men react by putting a shitton of emphasis on The Hedonistic (i.e., using women only-as-Mere Fuckholes); for their part, women put shitton of emphasis on using themselves only-as-Walking Wombs. (Lack of) Monay, and the Oppressive Environment, limit one from any other forms of Existential Expression - i.e., developing intellectually, or becoming an "interesting" person (at least according-to-bourgeois-standards of Interestingness).

You cannot put the "blame" on women. Sirens will scream the "Obvious Misogynist: Red Alert!" if you assign blame to the mythical, platonic, quintessential "Women." Both men and women are shackled by the same self-perpetuating cycle of Socioeconomic Hopelessness.

Men want a deeper satisfaction to their meaningless lives, and they can only do that through hedonistic, sensualistic drugs, sex, gambling, violence, etc. Women too want deeper satisfaction, and they can only do that through becoming mothers. Men and women do have similar motivations, but the way these motivations are borne out are at TOTAL cross-purposes. Hence, Men and Women cannot possibly coexist peacefully. They are born to be At War.

Yes, it's sad, but what's sadder is that there's no way out of it for people who want to see a way out of it.

So, as a man, I can either "get it wet" and stop complaining, or don't, and not. But that won't stop me from being bitter about internalizing bourgeois standards of "interestingness" and "date-ability" regarding women: "Oh, you have to be Educated. Oh, you have to want a Career. Oh, you have to not be an Oxycontin Whore. Oh, you can't have had 3 kids by the age of 20." That's just not how a lot of people are in the Real World. Talk About Unreasonable Demands! (ungetawaywithable Space Ghost reference)

So, time to slip some cocktail waitresses some Cow Tranquilizers, and Do Some Good.

I think we owe it to our Resident Men's Rights Adovcate Mr Weiss to have Him weigh-in on this conversation:

One of the reasons I don't pull is because I'm not "masculine" enough. (And that I'm an arrogant, narcissistic, Merge-Thirsty Potential Abuser. cough) "Women" don't want an androgynous man who bends the gender rules. Yeah, I do some very masculine things, like drinking and farting a lot, but, I'm not sufficiently outwardly masculine in terms of a social-power orientation - i.e., become more extraverted, more "cocky/funny", more like a salesman or politician or (talkative) Man of Absolute Power. You gotta talk, talk, talk, and talk the right way.

Thanks for sharing, Mr. Weiss.
Anyway, I blame the Captains of Industry and Politics for transforming the probably-positive qualities of Intelligence and Individuality into Bourgeois Symbols, and for reducing the rest of the world into faceless, ugly, uninteresting Animals. It's because of them (the Captains) that your average Hoi Polloi person is less interesting than a damn video game. That's why a lot of young men Who Are Smrt play a lot of video games and don't pull.

Some people would argue that it's inarguable that Humans Are Nothing More Than Animals, so we shouldn't delude ourselves by trying to argue there's something "noble" about humans compared to, say, any given nonsentient unicellular organism.

Yes, I agree that many humans are no more noble than filthy animals, but some of them, in my mind at least, are A Little Better Than That. These are often the people who Get Me Off, socially and/or otherwise. Few and Far Between.

Since I am normally SO pathologically pessimistic, it only logically follows that I Should not Drink as much as Normal, Happy People. Because of my Horrendously Pessimistic Predisposition, I'm grumpy enough without alcohol.

Yet because the immediate experience of drinking - often encompassing telling funny stories and playing pool and etc, is so fun and "freeing" (although really, as I said far above, a loss of control), then the Drinker will disregard The Aftermath every time for that brief sense of Instant Gratification. It's very Sensualistic - like sex for people who do not have sex.




Whatever. It's long past time to get off this train.




I'm glad to see I'm not the Only Idiot In The World who thinks he/she's a Photoshop Comedian:




SMOKIN' BARRY. You know you love 'im.


I was conspiring with The Spreadsheet lately, and convinced myself to buy "Vice City" and "Silent Hill 2", as research suggested they would be well worth-it.

Well, SH2 has sucessfully diverted me from Final Fantasy X, and it's even keeping me away from starting GTA:VC.




I'm about 14 hours into the game right now, and can confidently say I got my $14 worth. It's like 7 Actually-Scary movies rolled into one. And You're the star.

The Fear takes pages from both J-Horror and David Lynch. I don't need to tell you how I feel about that combination.

The game is best enjoyed - naturally - alone, in the cover of night. One thing Gamers might not like is that there's so much damn fog and/or darkness, that you really just can't See anything. Then again, you don't have to be a Hardc0re gamer to see that SH2 kinda falls under the genre of "survival horror", or to grasp the fundamentals of Survival Horror itself. Different people like different kinds of horror movies.

And, when it comes down to brass tacks, I view SH/survival horror on a Spectrum of Storytelling alongside with - and comparable TO - movies. Except possibly more immediately enjoyable, because you get the experience of living in and being an active participant in That World for many hours.

In reference to the J-Horror, SH uses the "sound not sight" approach to scary, where lurching shrouds groaning in the fog and the shadows are scarier than Jason-In-Your-Face with Tha Reet Reet. But, of course, YMMV.

But the Sights themselves are very well-done, too, with some of the interiors giving new meaning to the word "dilapidated." I'm noticing some similarities with movies like Se7en. But even more ridiculous.

And as you finally start to get the momentum going, the story/game indeed takes some Left Turns and Ups the Ante as you Crescendo through the Nightmarish, Hellish Abyss o' Horror.

And the way it plays with the way Reality and Identity are perceived is starting to make me think that somebody actually could make a Damn Good Game out of "Mulholland Dr."

And some of those monsters are just Str8 Up Fucked Up. The Torso Monster? Pyramid Head? I wonder if the developers have even worse nightmares than I do. Indeed, it's not out of the realm of possibility that this game would inspire some of my own nightmares. It's that nicely-done.

So I'm giving this the unreserved 2 Thumbs Up. Yeah, it's not PERFECT, but, damn, have I been getting waaaaaaay more enjoyment out of Video Games lately rather than movies. I've been kicking myself that I hadn't started doing this yearrrs ago.

Play more video games, watch less movies. That's my damn ADVICE O' The post.


Your Song O' The Post is:

I'M YOUR MAN



It's ridiculous. Back in the day, when all the Cool Kids listened to Cohen and I used him to seduce Bourgeois girls, we only ever listened to his old guitar-pickin' stuff. The first time I heard the overproduced bursts of Synthpop in his mid-to-late career, I thought it sounded obnoxious. It still sounds obnoxious, although now I've grown to luvvv it. And it shows absolutely no dimunition of his songwriting talents.

Get back at me in a few years and just TRY to tell me I'm wrong.



HAVE A NICE DAY, and, if you are fortunate to have a mother who is not dead or abusive, be sure to buy her dinner or something this sunday.



________
* ("What Would David D. Burns, M.D. Do?": when you find yourself overcome by "All-Or-Nothing Thinking" or "Jumping to Conclusions" or another Cognitive Distortion, just repeat the mantra "FRIED CHICKEN. FRIED CHICKEN." to yourself. These are powerful positive words. Then go eat some fried chicken. Talk about nature's Prozac!)