"You are not human beings! You are animals!"

Note: This is the most ridiculous SIBHoD ever, and I only post it as a shocking example of HOW ridiculous it/I can become, what with my Violent Mood Swings and all. There is so much in here that is not to be taken at Face Value. But you should be used to that by now. This one is best for the Serious Reader to Skip. In fact, I Officially Advise all readers to Skip it. (unless you're undoubtedly having a "FUCK THE WORLD" Day!) This is not suitable for Livejournal, for gods sakes. However, I superstitiously believe that if I publish it despite its lack of literary quality / political relevance, it will somehow be Cathartic by necessity, and the next post will have no option but to be better. And in this case, it probably will be!



So I was way outta line the other day with my emo moaning and groaning. "Wah wah, nobody loves me, why don't I go listen to morrissey and cut myself." It's stupid, I know, THANKS. I've got everything I need. I've got it made. I'm spoiled so rotten that I can't even appreciate all that I've got going for me. So it's good to be able to take a step back and see how truly ridiculous I sound when I complain about pointless frivolities.

Alternately: instead of bitching and moaning about how inane the Internet People are, I could be more proactive. Duuuh! If the Internet People aren't worth meeting (and just maybe some of them are), then maybe I should go to where the people are worth meeting, and actually do things to meet them. Small talk. Showing an interest and all that.

Believe me, I'm struggling against the sarcasm: "Oh, you mean go to some gay hipster bar and talk to gay she-hipsters about gay bands and gay art classes? Why would I want to do that?"

Great question.

When you get Violent Mood Swings like I do, somedays you're just too grumpy to talk to people. You just gotta Know Thyself and Strike When The Iron Is Hot.

In my defense, though, I staunchly believe that the internet is simply NOT a viable way of making a good first impression. I just do not like profiles. It's just not a good way to present yourself. Hell, Most of my friends probably wouldn't be my friends if the only thing I knew about them were their profiles. I'm anti-Profile through-and-through. That's all there is to it. I don't want read lists of your favourite shit. I'd much rather look at your blog; A writing sample, if you will. To me, that's much more revealing (and, to be sure, flattering!) than some damn List could ever be. Plus one gets to show how Really Smrt they are.

This is why I like to have as little information on my profile as possible. Besides, if you simply read the SIBHoD, you'd find out pretty fast that I jizz myself over Lars von Trier and Tom Waits. (Although those are two names I wouldn't mind seeing on more people's lists!!!1)

In our "Dirtbag White Trash" County, we really, really resent teachers because they "make 50K a year and get the summers off, while we Honest workers get slammed with givebacks and cuts and they continue to get raises, the best healthcare, etc. Plus they're useless. Glorified babysitters. I don't care if you have a master's degree. Be a cop or a paramedic or a forklift driver and bust your ass 60 hours a week with NO OVERTIME and then talk to me about how hard your job is."

There's kernels of truth and kernels of lies, but I can't stomach all this black-and-white any more.

A lot of people have Role Models who act as a living example of How Cool It'd Be to Become A [Teacher/Cop/Lawyer/Janitor/Stripper/Socially-Progressive Nonprofit Staffer]. I never saw it that way. I only ever looked around me and only saw the unhappy people and I thought "Christ! It would suck balls to be a [Teacher/Janitor/Cop/etc.]" So I never really wanted to BE anything, because, in my warped mind, being Anything was synonymous with being disgruntled and unhappy. I knew I didn't want to be THAT. Kind of ironic, then, that I became Nothing and I'm still unhappy and disgruntled!

Okay, that's it for the navel-gazing, I swear. I'll be seeing some more movies soon, and we'll actually have something to talk about.

I can't stop talking/thinking about My Spreadsheet. This is the greatest thing I've done all year. It's becoming my obsession. I play with it 6,000,000 times a day, obsessing over every single penny I make and how I can pinch each one to death.

Here's a Harrowing thought: if you included the price of Car Maintainance/Upkeep in with Gas, gas would be damn close to about 8 bucks a gallon. Think about that next time you decide to frivolously drive 100 miles to some stupid, lame party.


I'm always thinking about Gender mainly because of my obsession with Women. I'm obsessed with women because my experiences with them have run the absolute Gamut - from excruciating to boring to ennerving to enlightening to sublime to good, bad, and ugly. I've experienced every kind of reaction that ever existed, and no other stimulus on this earth has had this effect on me. Simply: Women are a drug to me, and I am hopelessly addicted. That's why I'm always thinking about Gender.

Sometimes I honestly worry that I'm going to become a paederast. You know. Something about "Getting the young girls thing out of my system." But then I think long and hard about it, and know that I'm a pretty moral person, and Raping or Coercing a Young Girl is something that I would never actually do. If anything, I'm obsessed with taking a "Symbol of Youth and Innocence" out to Dinner. It's not primarily a sexual thing. Plus, there's no law against finding 20-year-old women attractive. Lots of old men do.

Religion is so terrible. I just don't understand how a person can read the same Right Wing Catholic Propaganda for even 8 hours a day and not get bored. There's something wrong there. I would be taking a nap or watching a movie or a tv show or thinking about women or writing or SOMETHING ELSE. 10 and 11 hours is even more incredible, obviously.

I'm also obsessed by the concept and the reality of Lunch. For example, right now I would love to eat a huge Chinese or Thai lunch. Partially because I'm not at the top of my game and I need a nap. So, big lunch, then nap. Can't go wrong, uh?

Well...spreadsheet don' lie. It's telling me this would not be a smart idea. But god damn, I want some egg drop soup and some sesame chicken son.

Did you ever get those nights where you're asleep by 11pm but then you wake up at 2am and stay awake for like 2 hours? With thoughts of dread spinning around in your insane membrane? It would seem like I've got some physiological problems here, but, in the grand scheme of things, they're really not all that major. They just result in me being really grumpy and really tired sometimes.

I don't blame cheaters. I've never cheated on anybody before, because I usually liked the person I was with and I never really wanted to cheat, but if I was in a "typical" arrangement with a "typical" person, I would totally cheat on them all the live long day, just because the "typical" person is so boring and unsatisfying that the idea of monogamy with them is horrifying enough to make you want to slit your own throat with a butcher knife. Hell. It's your damn moral responsibility to cheat, the way I see it.

If bags o' Gambler go from 8 bucks to 25 bucks, I'm not gonna be too happy of a camper.

Sleeping is definitely a great way to recharge the batteries. For instance, I'm kinda grumpy now, and I know that if I take a nap this afternoon, I'll feel better both in the short-term AND the long-term. Napping is a can't lose situation, and I just don't understand anyone who doesn't appreciate the value of a good nap.

People wait too damn long before they start doing anything for the night. For example, Hard Workers like me will be leaving by the time some people even start showing up. I don't care how uncool it makes me sound, but I'm more than willing to start "partying" at 9pm. Unfortunately, this definitely puts me in the minority.

Whether You like it or not, I'm probably gonna write another song this year. My Solo Project is definitely not going anywhere. I would like, though, with the help of my Trusty Spreadsheet, to poychase a Keyboard (SYNTH) and use that in my composition. I've been wanting to do this for years, and I think The year has finally arrived. I don't need anything super top-shelf. Just something that plays.

FYI, I'm also working on Budgeting for a Bicycle and a Laptop. They say you gotta treat yourself with loving kindness, and it's gone way past the point of these things being Unattainable Extravagances.

I hate writing cover letters and resumes SO MUCH. I hate interviews SO MUCH. It's so much worse than homework.

I, I, I, I, I, I. How about You once in a while.

You ever just not like being around people? You ever feel like going a full week without seeing people or "hanging out"? You know You do! So just DO it already!

When I was about 18, I was obsessed with Erowid, and once I even drank some Robotussin just for fun. I got a kinda "weird" feeling and then felt ubercreative and wrote a really "trippy" piece of music. Then I couldn't sleep and felt like soulless garbage the next day and I never had the desire to drink Robotussin ever again, and I never did.

Just as I believe it's one's moral responsibility to Cheat on one's lover, it's men's moral responsibility to Steal Satisfactory (read: "Getituptoably Attractive") women from whatever douchebag they're "going out with". Yeah, It's stupid that if a woman is even the least bit Satisfactory, then she WILL be going-out with some douchebag, but that's just the way the wicked world works. You can either sit there and complain about it, or you can be proactive and give the woman a damn reason to stray away from the complete douchebag and towards you.

For similar reasons, we can't assume that women could ever understand loneliness, because, unless they're a total Sea Hag, then they're always With somebody. Or they're bouncing from one no-strings-attached casual fling to another, having 110% guilt-free fun. How can you respect someone who has absolutely no understanding of loneliness and longing? I sure can't! And that's why I'm a raging misogynist! Because Women are all stupid and all excruciating and I hate them all!

It's just pretty frustrating when there's always a damn good reason to hate people. Just imagine pretty, nice, and smart women sucking dicks that aren't yours. Also: don't forget they're totally swallowing the come and loving it, too.

So stop whining and GO GET YOURS, bitch.

translation:

"GO. RAPE WOMEN."

Although it gets kind of discouraging when your parents stop asking you why you never "go out" with anybody. It's like they accept that you are an undatable failure.

Looks like I'm in a worse mood than I originally thought! Wahh waah, I'm a big dumb girl, I'm going to RUN to someone for comfort and validation!!

Spending all that money is something I'm not happy about. It doesn't fit into the budget. even though I got some "wiggle room" and I'm gonna waste 8 more dollars on thai lunch today because I'm really grumpy and that's a pittance compared to what I throw away at the bar sometimes. At least I know better for next 2 weeks.

Success doesn't always happen overnight, you know? Sometimes it happens 6 months at a time. And don't fucking tell me to stop whining and get a new job. You know that's what I plan to do after 6 months. Plus I like my job right now; the only issue I have with it is the damn money, honey.

I decided I didn't want to be a shrink/counselor because I really would not want to hear this kinda entitled shite, this whining, all day, every day. And that's really the best of it, too. Nope. I'd rather be a damn librarian and play fucking sudoku all day long and talk to the shrink on my own time, and just leave it there.

Well, that's about it. If anyone tells me to get off my arse and get a new job RIGHT NOW, I will fucking kill them. Fuck your advice, and fuck you. Kill Yourself. Now. What did I just say about my 6 month life plan. It's more like a 2 month plan right now, anyway. Jesus christ. just let me stay at a job for 6 months and take it from there. It's more than I've done in at least 4 years for chrissakes.

iii. long-forgotten lover realising the error of her ways and begging on her knees for k.c.'s forgiveness: "but kenneth classwar! I love you!"

k.c., throwing down his cigarette, stamping it out, with a triumphant puff of smoke in the bitch's face: "FUCK your love."

I don't need "Things I Hate" anymore, because the SIBHoD is itself a gleaming beacon of hate; my channel through which I spray unfiltered hatred upon the world. Yes, I still hate everything and everyone, and I always will, and, with the help of the SIBHoD, I intend to make sure no-one forgets it.

Just as I'm anti-facebook, I'm anti-relationship. Just as I think most people are stupid, I think most relationships are stupid. That's why I'm not "in" one, besides my abrasive personality. People are dumb and boring and excruciating and not worth spending time with or getting to know. Who would want to get "in a relationship" with that? Other excruciating idiots, that's who!

Also, most people get "in" because they like sex for some reason. I don't like sex, so, ipso fatso, I don't want a "rel."

It's probably why I seek out "damaged" women (i.e., women who have been Raped), because they have "issues" with sex (i.e., there might be a chance that they don't like it either. However, in most cases, they act like they enjoy it altogether too much, [even though they really don't] and they get all stretchy'n'gross by the time they reach the age of consent. what a world.)

So I seek out asexual women too, because that page is the closest to my page. Even though I'm not really asexual, it's just the closest approximation there is. I'm closer to asexual than sexual. Compared to most normal "human" animals, for all intents and purposes, I AM asexual.

For instance, people just can't understand when I explain I don't like pornography. They think I'm just "covering" because I'm ashamed about liking pornography. They can't understand that I really don't have terabytes of pron videos and that I really don't jerk-off to pron every day. And then when I say I don't really like it, and I think it kinda degrades people, they look at me like I'm crazy. Women too! Even Women don't understand how pron might be degrading to women! So, I'm just gonna stop talking about it. It's fucking pointless.

Since most "human" animals have so much fun having sex that they eventually get bored, they have to transform it into something beyond just mutual fun, i.e., they change it into a competition where someone has to win and someone has to lose. So you get automatically harshly judged by your casual sex partner if you're "not that good" or "not doing it right" or "bad at sex". Nobody cares that everybody may be different, because, in fact, everybody isn't different. It's all just a game of one-up-manship where everyone tries to outdo each other, so they can have their flings and try to come out the "winner." It's sports, plain and simple, although, imho, so much more disgusting.

I'm in what I call the "Happy Hatred" zone. This is where I'm energized by my seething hatred, rather than immobilized by it. So my fingers are flying and the SIBHoD practically writes itself. It's an elevated level of hatred, though, and can seem frightfully manic. Then it subsides after a day or two and I get back to my version of "normal". Which I do prefer. It's all tied into the several-day Aftermath of Alcohol. It's War.

I'm glad'n'proud to be different, goddammit. If I had to try to live other people's lives and "adopt" other people's values of cutthroat sociopathic barbarism, I'd blow my brains out immediately. As Buk said "People are not good to each other", and I, like him, unlike anybody else, have a big fundamental problem with that fact. The guilt from a lifetime of selfishly using people would eat my soul. I'm narcissistic, I'm self-obsessed, I'm selfish, but I'm no-where NEAR as selfish as the average person.

I Am The Chosen One.

A friend recently relayed to me the most right-on thing I've ever heard. He was talking with a colleague on "why are women so crazy/fucked-up?" (disgusting generalization, I know, but in the Real World, All Women do behave crazily) to which his colleague laid-down the following golden kernel of wicked science:

"If you had guys chasing you around all day trying to put their dicks in you, you'd be crazy too."

A-fucking-men. That captures it ALL right there.

Now, I take a slightly different meaning out of this: men are to blame. If you want to complain about women being "crazy", then you have no-one to blame but men. If men hadn't been going around for the past 20,000 years treating women like fuckholes, then women wouldn't be so goddam excruciating and intolerable.

Blame men. Blame the Patriarchy. Don't blame the monster. Blame dr frankenstein. I sure as hell would not like to be treated like shit, either. No healthy person would. I have to give women a lot of credit, going through life being treated like 10th-rate "humans" and not all killing themselves. So I can understand how they might go a little bit crazy.

I don't go around wanting to stick my dick in every (attractive) woman. Now: is that only because I don't enjoy sex, and don't see it as some sort of end-in-itself? I would like to think it's because I have the kinda "noble" motive of just wanting to get along with people-as-people, regardless of what kinda genitalia they have.

This is such a fundamental difference in worldview, that it prevents me from even beginning to get along with most people. They so matter-of-factly use other people and they see nothing sinister about it. Meanwhile, my stomach turns as I die for a drink.

"you are not human beings! You are ANIMALS!"

I've always been an arrogant asshole, but it's really peaking right now.

You know how a lot of liberals / radicals / extremists eventually "lose their fire" as they get older, and are quite politically/socially moderate by the time they're like 40? And it's the rare trueblood who continues to get MORE extreme as they age? I think I fall into that hardcore second category, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm much more extreme/radical now than I was when I was, say, 18-20.

Back in the day I was very passionate about fighting homophobia, and trying to convince homophobes that homosexuality was not wrong and evil. It was nice to have ideals, but I eventually gave up trying. As well I should have. Because it really is hopeless to try to convince people. They already have their minds made up for their own stupid reasons, and they won't change them.

Nowadays, I'm doing the same exact thing with feminism/women/ etc, and I'm starting to see that it's no point trying to explain anything. People either hate women or they don't, and nothing's gonna change their minds. (Or they have a complex, unrealistic, contradictory mixture of love and hate that, in its destructiveness, might as well just be plain ol' hatred already). It's my problem for getting damned passionate if I try to explain to someone - especially if it's a woman - why pornography is not some harmless, consequence-free thing. I think "But You ARE a woman! You, of all people, should understand this!" What I keep forgetting is that many women are Tools of the Patriarchy, and are, for all intents and purposes, blind and lost and beyond all help.

God. I hate "advice." "You should do this and that and this and that!" Okay. I think YOU SHOULD Commit Suicide! NOW!

I'm a huuuge suicide advocate/fan. I love suicide. To anyone contemplating suicide, I would say You Should err on the side of caution and just do it already. I only haven't done it yet because The Pure Masochism is what's keeping me alive, baby! Plus, who would write the SIBHoD if I were gone? Plus it's kind of a pussy thing to do, and my family would be devastated. But I still don't blame people who do it. In some way I have huge respeck for them.

Hah. This is clearly one of those kinds of days for which SLAYER: "REIGN IN BLOOD" was invented.

Maybe I'll tell the doc to increase my prozac, I don't think it's cutting the mustard @ a paltry 1000000000000000 mg.

Advice is so obnoxious: "Instead of complaining so much, you should do something about it!" No shit. I NEVER FUCKING THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, ASS HOLE. God damn.

What separates me from just about everyone else, though, is that I have no personal career goal I'm passionate about. I hate mostall jobs. I don't want to go to school and work for anything. Everything fucking SUCKS. Salesman, businessman, teacher, shrink, entertainer, lawyer, cop, janitor, administrator, priest, writer, programmer, grad student, medical assistant, artist, doctor, nurse, actuary, chef, assistant, you name it, unless it involves being constantly asleep, it fucking sucks or will end up fucking sucking.

Everybody's gotta be something, and everything SUCKS. It's just not worth it. For me, at least. For other people, it is worth it.

I'm grateful to be content with the job I have now because it's one of the very select few jobs I've ever had which doesn't SUCK; which I don't HATE. The only problem is the money. I'm not making nearly enough money to be a grown-ass man. Which means I'll never be financially stable, or move out of my parent's house, or pull some hawt asexual pussy. And that hawt a$exual pu$$y is the bottom line - the one'n'only single thing I'm really pa$$ionate about and intere$ted in anyway.


Yes! I signed up for Okcupid once again, and within 15 minutes saw why I've only ever ended up quitting it: all these people are boring, dumb, and ugly; usually all three. Yeah, it's kinda fun to scroll through person after person after person and have some disqualifying dealbreaker jump out at you within .1549754982029340 nanoseconds, but, ultimately, it doesn't give you that nice of a feeling. It's kinda hopeless, really. It's fun to judge people, but it does eventually get lonely at the top.

People are so stupid when they leave comments. "Oh. Maybe you should stop being so arrogant, and put yourself in the other person's position." WOW. THAT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME. THANKS, ASS HOLE.

Here's my advice: just remember, no matter how bad you feel, there's ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO'S GOT IT WORSE. Like the Slumdogs in India. Or this one guy in ohio who, in the space of one week, lost his job, his health benefits, had several close relatives die in a car crash, was diagnosed with cancer, etc. Always someone who's got it waaay worse. Let's not even get into the human animal slaves and the people who get their mothers raped to death before their very eyes. So shut your damn mouth.

Second Piece of Advice: The world would be a better place if everyone killed themselves. Now.

Just be warned, though: All Suicides Go To HELL!!!

All righty. Time to go and try to get hard to pictures of PILES OF DEAD JEWS.


But honestly. All SIBHoDs are not gonna be as ridiculous and pointless and stupid as this one. Jesus Christ, you'd think no-one ever had a crabby day. Suck my dick. You know how I love being a huge asshole mostall o' the time.

So I'll be seeing some movies for next time, including Jason Queergel and Paul Queerdd in "I Love You[r Cock], Queer."


For god's sakes, treat your bodies and minds with respect and get a decent night's sleep.