a boxwine named desire: "velllllllllla! velllllllllllllllllllaaa!"

i. "the bard is spoony. we checked."

I know my humour is arcane to the extent of inscrutability - thus, for all evolutionary intents and purposes, it is completely nonexistent - and here's no exception. I do forgive anyone, however, that is not as familiar with Final Fantasy IV (# 2 in the US) as I am.

Explanation: EvilWall is a boss who could not possibly live up to its name any more accurately. With a staggering 20,000 Hit Points and an absolutely Christless CRUSH attack that kills characters with one paralyzing blow, EvilWall truly pushes the controllerthrowerability of FF2. I finally had to break down and consult some FAQs/Walkthroughs; Brian and Matt lyrically describe EvilWall as "a slowly advancing menace" (emphasis mine).

Hard Line Stance: men and women cannot possibly get along (and, being a man who would prefer to getalong with women, I do lament this!) because they are raised/socialized so differently, that their life experiences are totally incompatible. Men are raised to view and treat women as nothing more than SEX SLAVES - let's just call a duck a duck here - and when women do Anything that is incongrous with being a SEX SLAVE, men get defensive and call them "flighty" or "evil" or "bitches" or "sluts." Anything. It could be anything from annoying passive-aggressiveness, to withholding sex, to dreaming of being treated as a human being. If a woman isn't acting like a SEX SLAVE, then she's gonna get it (i.e., forced into submission). Go ahead. Prove me wrong.

Slave = nonhuman, chattel, property, object of A Master's complete dominance

Sex slave = Slave that exists largely for (in addition to all other typical slave-behaviours such as maid-labour) sexual gratification

MISOGYNISTIC RANT O' THE POST

My Parlance O' The Times Barometer is unfuckwithable. FACT: [On Teh 'Nets] Women are saying "ugh" in pandemic proportions. I'm just waiting for some jewish new yorker bitch to write an article about it. "Ugh" is feminized, is what I'm saying. If you see that word, I'll have George Warshington tell ya it's a woman what wrote it.

"Ugh" conveys disgust - a universally human/nongendered emotion - but in "ugh"'s case, it's a specialized, feminized disgust. And it's often applied to creeps and/or creepy situations. Guys don't have to deal with "creepers" (aside: the new term for "creep" in Girlspeak is "creeper". Discuss), so men's disgust is devoid of that connotation, and carries more bald frustration/anger: "Fuck!" "Balls!" "Christ!"

SUNSHINE CLEANING

When I skip a Saturday of getting Raging Drunk, then I am able to approach a normal, consistant sleep-schedule, and get up at 9:30 am feeling like a billion bucks. So why not get out of the house and see a super-early matinee to kick off a relaxing sunday?

It was either this or "I Love You Man". Needless to say, this one seemed to be the most critically-acclaimed movie at the theatre.

It was pretty good, but not earth-shatteringly awesome. I still liked Adventureland better. Everything was all-right with Sunshine Cleaning, though, and I'd def not have a problem with watching it again. The actresses (Amy Adams, who really reminded me of a slightly-more-attractive Jenna Fischer; and Emily Blunt, who may be 2009's Zooey D for people that are sick of Zooey D) were above-average; Alan Arkin and Steve Zahn also do a good job, and the Hidden Hero here is Clifton Collins playing a creepy mustachioed one-armed lonely cleaning supply-store manager with a Heart O' gold.

Good characters, not entirely not predictable, a healthy (and welcome!) dose of suicide-themes, and I was a pretty happy movie-goer.

MISOGYNISTIC RANT O' THE POST II

You ever notice how Physically Attractive Women just don't go to Critically Acclaimed Movies? And you see a disporportionate amount of Unaccompanied Men at these types of movies? You wonder if there's any correlation there?

Hahahaha, I'm just pulling your leg. When I went to a super-privileged bourgeois University, there were Tons O Physically Attractive Women in the audiences of these movies all the time!

(You wonder if there's any correlation there?)

Tv Tropes is unquestionably the greatest site I have discovered in a good long while. I'm sure all You Internet-Savvy Readers are so familiar with it that it never warrants even the faintest recollection, but, as I've admitted, I Don't Get Out Much (I wasted too much time trying to find an appropriate trope, but, surprisingly, I could find nothing to suffice. Might have to fill a void here!)

I came to realize that basically everything is a Trope, especially those things I've habitually miscalled "memes", and even more especially, every fundamental of every thing I think, write, or say.

We Edumacated Writers like to use the word Trope more than does the Average Slob, largely because the word has not yet entered the Average Lexicon. TV Tropes may weoll change this reality, because it points out that we are living in a World of Tropes. Tropes, like Injustice, are Going On All Around Us At All Times. And they're very amenable to Phrases With All Capital Letters, and you know how I feel about those.

In other words, I've been riveted to this site for four solid hours, clinking links. Some of my favourites include "Nietzsche Wannabe", "Omnicidal Maniac", "Eldritch Abomination", etc.

Knowing my tendency to "live under a rock", though, I wouldn't be surprised if this site is already as ubiquitously popular as Wikipedia or Google, so I look like a Gauche Idiot putting it in my links list. Talk about a bona fide c-block!!!

But due to all the anime'n'comic book'n'video game geek4ge going on, It would seem Self-C-Blocking goes hand-in-hand with being an OG Troper. But they love it. I love it. How can any sane person not love it? Spend 5 minutes here and you will see how Trop4ge can be very, very easily extended to all things Non-Geeky as well.

I'm gonna be really embarrassed if all the Cool Kids have read this site 6,000,000 Years Ago, and have written-it-off because it does contain occasionally Glaring Voids such as "Cool Kids."

Give it another chance! It's freakin FUNNY, for gods sakes!

And of course if this site is not "ubiquitously popular", it really should be, it's the new wikipedia, but funnier, and I think I'm more-than-entitled to some Nonpareil Hawt Action for discovering it.

So here's my plan, man. (Spoiler alert: I really should not be telling the whole world about this Intellectual Goldmine.) You know how most movies suck balls? You know how a good tv show delivers exponentially more entertainment than the average movie? And people will sit there with their boxsets of LOST and MAD MEN and 30 ROCK and be glued to their couch all weekend?

If no-one can put two and two together here, I must truly be the Only Sane Person alive.

And You know I am.

But no. You get stuff like "The Simpsons Movie," which was too little, too late. You get the Str8-to-DVD Family Guy Movie, which really wasn't a "movie", but rather a double episode (Stewie meeting his future self.) You get the "Dead Like Me" movie which has been stuck in Development Hell and sounds pretty disappointing. Or the Aqua Teen movie, which was an Epic F.

The best thing going right now is the talked-about Arrested Development Movie. Which Yabuddy Michael Cera thought was a Bad Idea. He would.

This should not be the exception. This is a no-brainer. They should have a House movie and an Office movie and a Lost movie, right now. Any one of those would be enough for a Blockbuster of the Year.

Make a Movie of a Wildly Successful TV Show while it is still Wildly Successful and rake in billions. How does this take a lone genius like me to figure out?

So go. Take yo monay, pop pop pop pop.

Although: the bad thing about TV tropes is that you might only get about 15 hours of solid entertainment out of it. It still def Entitles me to a good 15 mins of 50.1%-Fun make-out action with College Girls, though. Cough it up.