choumme

So I had a polemic on "Why I Am A Feminist", but now I'm feeling that's a bit too serious of a discussion for today. As we brace for the first in a series of SASKATCHEWAN SCREAMERS, it's for the best to try to scare up some Yukkkz.

So I'll save the feminist haranguing for later, except to say that "recognizing automatic chauvinistic thoughts" is a great first step for any future x-woman-hater.

Wikihow knows me so well, it's scary: Today they had an interesting article called "How to talk to strangers." It's funny that as children, we can take the "don't talk to strangers" thing so unreasonably far, that we don't really know how to talk to strangers as an adult, when doing so might make our existence a little bit entertaininger.

Laffs. Yikes. Easier said than done. If you're reading this, you should read and subscribe to my friends' sportz blog, Not From Bristol. I'm technically supposed to be "proofing" their articles, but I've been really, really, really, really, really turribly bad about this; AND, they are simply posting a ton of real good articles. (I'm not biased.) Bravo, lads. And, uh, you might want to expand your proofreading personnel. Not that you need much help in that department!

I shall now reach into the grab bag of my google reader and see if anything merely interesting comes up. Interesting, after all, is almost as good as hilarious.

Okay, here's a little bit o' feminist blog action from the gang at Feministe. [I didn't say there'd be nothing gender/feminism-oriented in this post. Come on. It's the MFin SIBHoD!] Just because I do have a number of feminist blogs in my reader, and they do often cure The Boredoms. In this post, Feministes present a Top Troll contest, and here are some slightly whimsical contenders:

7. Gayboy Gangsta, who I suspect is neither gay nor a gangsta:

I love sinffing women’s panties! Oh joy, I think I’m going to choumme! All women are is holes to be fucked my men with skinny dicks and love it. You serve no essential purpose other than the fragrant aroma of your underpants. You show me a femminist and I’ll show you my cock.

8. Leo, who shares the same name as my room mate’s cat, and who I kind of wish was also getting neutered on Wednesday:

I’d love to have a wife who raped me repeatedly; unfortunately, I have found that there are many more females who prefer the “alpha male” (which most assume me to be based upon my necessary work persona). Frankly, I am annoyed at how passive most females appear to be. However, what is even MORE annoying are the females who devote not a thought to what their male may need even as they berate him for not giving them what THEY need. Where are the females who are empowered yet also giving?

I do love trolls. I love watching them get worked up, I love watching them stir the pot, and I especially love the way they "play" The Devil's Advocate. Sometimes I think Trolls get a bad rap. Sometimes trolls do have a mutation of a valid point. But there's a kernel (at least!) somewhere in there that is So Skewed, such that they automatically'n'rightfully get categorized as trolls.

So I'm definitely not saying go out and troll. Christ no. I have no desire to advocate trollery because trolls are not cool. If, g-d forbid, the SIBHoD had trolls, I would do everything in my power to crush them mercilessly. This doesn't means I can't get some small enjoyment from reading trollcomments on other blogs/forums, however. I especially enjoy the passive-aggressive "you all say one thing when you mean another!!!1" hissy fit aspect of the second troll.

I had a very strange nightmare last night that involved a haunted house and was rather reminiscent of Stephen King's IT. That was not tons o' fun. Horrifying would be a better word for it.

I hate bars and alcohol. Bars are so fucking gay. Alcohol is so fucking gay. Every time I drink I regret it. The path from Learning to Doing is still just one foot in front of the other, same as it's ever been, yet occasionally we unfortunately stumble along the way. Dear Cheap Cinema, it looks like we're gonna have to get reacquainted.

I hate goddamn css scripts that freeze up and prohibit you from saving epic-length posts.

I hate when you use your coffeemaker to make a pot of tea but you forgot to take the coffee grounds out from the coffee you made a little while ago so then you end up making a pot of COFFEE-FLAVOURED TEA. Jesus X.

And ya know, I'm starting to think "What is the deal with myspace?" Yeah, it's middling as a timekiller, but does it really do a hell of a lot of GOOD? I have a phone! I have an email! It's like facebook: it's more bad than good, and you're annoyed at the time-wasting more than you're entertained/informed by the shockingly limited amount of entertainment/information available therein. Or at least I am.

I'm a fan of Xtreme Kenny v Spenny Style Abstinence Challenges, so just for S's and G's, I'm gonna attempt not to sign in to myspace for a WEEK. Yegods!

I could probably do away with myspace altogether, as I feel the SIBHoD more-than-suffices as My Sinister Presence on Teh Intraweb. This has pretty much become the one-stop classwar shop.

Rep. Barney Frank is freaking hilarious. Especially when he says something like "rigid" or "extending". or "erect."



That's about as Politickal as I'm gonna get today.

It boggles my mind how wonderful Tom Waits is. He's 6,000,000 times cooler than even Bukowski. I'm not dissing Bukowski. Rather, I'm sad'n'disappointed that he remained a bitter, woman-hating alcoholic his entire life. Waits was starting to go down this path, too, but he managed to save himself in time. As a result, he has unequivocally become The Greatest Person Ever.

I dunno. I just find it discouraging and sad that people can read right-wing catholic propaganda from 7 am to 5 pm. I would take an academic class, for god's sakes. Write 75-page papers. Have discussions with authorities. But there's this aspect of the right-wing catholic perspective that is somewhat anti-expert, though: "What do they know, with their highfalutin degrees. What you really need is faith."

Sorry. I'd rather be writing papers and getting feedback on the papers and getting as nuanced and as informed of a view as I could. But that's just my liberal bias.

I am "reading" "The World Is Flat" by Thomas Friedman at the moment. Pretty fascinating. He talks about how the world is flat. But seriously. He talks about globalization and outsourcing and the dizzying expansion of IT and India and how pretty soon you'll go to macdonwald's and the person taking your order will be in India. And he promises to discuss what this all means to the youngins who are growing up and looking to make a living in the flattened world. Hint: don't go to a State College unless you want to be flippin' burgers.

Yes, I'm well aware this is all "old hat", and I'm pretty sure they assign this book in every public high school in Amerikkka. So blow me that I went to a private school that didn't even have The Internet when I graduated.

I'm not commenting on the rectitude of the book either, because, as I've stated before, I'm not an IT Professional. Also, some critics contend that Friedman turns a blind eye to issues of Social Justice.

What I Also Hate is LOSING things. I lose things all the time and it's somewhat frustrating. Some things I've lost recently: Big Bag O' Tobacco (twice!), Lucky Red Hat, Lucky Black Hat, Employee ID Card, and yesterday I lost my freaking Driver's License. At least I ended up finding that! And, recently, I locked my keys in my car for the first time in about 10 years. I fear that I may be falling off The Deep End here.

I'm done with Ghey Survheys. They were fun while they lasted, but I have a hard time imagining there are any fun ones left.

To all of my 5 new subscribers (feedburner ftw!), I give a unenthusiastic apology for the lack of substantive copy in this post. Believe me, I'd rather be elsewhere and makin' monay. However, I have enough Tension in me for about 8 Brisk Jogs, and it's waaay too goddamn cold to go outside, so I (and You) are stuck with third-rate sibhodz. Better mentally prepare for next post, in which I discuss "How Women Are People Too" and "Why 'Zack and Miri Make A Porno' (this was a movie) Sucks Balls." There might even be an "Original Political Cartoon", too!

Oh yeah. I Also Like Chick Tracts. You know, those hilarious little comic books that tell you you're going to hell. I'd get a bunch of them for the homestead, but, unfortunately, Chick sez that Roman Catholics have been Deceived By Satan into the Wrong Faith, and, of course, are headed directly for You-Know-Where. This kinda sucks, as Chick Tracts do have quite the compelling argumentative style.

TOM WAITS SONG O' THE POST

Gonna have to go with "Innocent When You Dream."



I find it spine-tinglingly uncanny how the song indeed captures a powerful "innocent and dreamy" sentiment moreso than other waits songs. It's times like this I begin to believe that bullshit about music being a "universal language" or whatnot. Waits even invites a rare singalong from the audience, and I could not imagine a better or more sincere way to bring a roomful of 10000 people together. I've got to see this guy one day.

Take-Home Point: the next SIBHoD will be better. A lot of ants showed up at the pants party today.