and even the flowers would leap from the ground like bulldogs

We all, to varying degrees, have some sort(s) of Delusional Defense Mechanism(s). This is Denial so deeply-ingrained that it's become second (first?!) nature. It's the worst kind of "rationalization". We can make ourselves believe whatever we want to believe, even when all we're really doing is feebly grasping for straws, to fabricate a ridiculous explanation so our twisted worldview doesn't come crashing down: for example, saying that Obama won the election because "People were too scared not to vote for him."

Oh, those big bad liberals, bullying joe q public with their college-boy subterfuge:
"If you don't vote for a Black Man, that means you're a racist!"
"Oh, I don't want to be a racist! I'd better vote for that Black Man then! Even if he is a babykiller!"

Because the evil liberals have made us poor whites so defensive about being seen as a Racist!

And what, I implore you, is so bad about being a Racist?

Heh. Yeah, this is how some people actually think. But I can't really judge, because I have some pretty wack views myself. Still, I argue, the least credible of my beliefs is probably more tenable than "the godless liberals have brainwashed this country with their P.C. claptrap saying that you shouldn't even hate blacks!" delusion.

(WARNING: NSFW/L)




The Man Kills Babies! What More Do You Need To Know??!

MOVIES

DARK WATER:

Do Not See This Movie. This Movie Was Terrible. 00.0000 Thumbs Up. I have no compunction against "spoiling" every bit of this movie for You. There's nothing to spoil. Your metaphysical being will go into a state of spoil4ge as you suffer through this movie.

I rented it because I was in a Japanese Horror Mood, and the box caught my eye, and it was from the team that brought audiences the "terrifying phenomenon" of "Ringu", which I enjoyed. (Methinks Movie Marketers should be required to take a class on Phenomenology.)

Movies are generally too long. Two hours is the new Average Movie Length, and this is utterly unconscionable for watching a dvd @ home. (Although I can tolerate killing two hours at a horrible movie if I'm watching it at the theatre. They should have "theatre versions" and "dvd versions". Just for me.)

This was 100 minutes long. Not an ideal 90 minutes, but not the dreaded 120 minutes either. "Ok", I rationalized, "I'll give it a chance. I've got some time to kill before the new episode of "The Office" anyway."

I can't even "review" this movie. It was boring as hell. Nothing even happened. A woman moves into a crappy apartment with her daughter and she goes increasingly hysterical/insane as the mysterious water-spot on her ceiling grows. The movie feebly attempts 2 or 3 scares by showing you a mysterious little girl in the background. It's nothing you haven't seen in any other J-Horror movie. You don't jump at all. The only positive thing I can say about the "scares" is that they're accompanied by "The Scare Chord", which lets you know the director wants you to be scared. In this postmodern world, you might argue that wearing authorial intent on your sleeve like this is a bit Gauche, but I don't have a problem with it - unless it's in a godawfully boring movie like "Dark Water" and there's no actual Scare. Don't make me post the clip from "Mulholland Dr" again to show you how it should be done.

This does not qualify as entertainment. This will not distract or divert you. It's so not worth writing about. I should be writing about the new Office episode. Or even the rerun of "House" that I saw for the nmillionth time. Both of which were light-years ahead of this awful movie in terms of entertainment value / fun.

Regardless of the quality of the movies I view, I am honour-bound to upholding the gold standard of the SIBHoD as a Clearinghouse of informative, if opinionated, filmicritiques. I feel there's a nobility in staying the movie-reviewing course of the sib, even when contemporary tv is generally better than my recent movie selections. So maybe I should start reviewing every gd tv show episode I watch, too?

Not the worst idea, but easily overwhelming!

BTW, the new office was good. I don't know how Angela sleeps at night. And it would have been funny if either Andy or Dwight vocally insisted on getting "tested."

I really should have been felled by an act of g-d when I walked out of the library with the batch of movies I just rented today. It's honestly 2Much. Zach Braff is gonna start (falsely!) thinking I don't hate him.

I also hate this weather. It's making me kinda grumpy. I'll be real glad when it gets back to 20 degrees.


THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR:

My warm home. This will probably be a recurring Thing.

That I have a somewhat intelligent brain. Well, some days it is much more intelligent than others. Today it seems incapable of producing a quality Sibhod, however......

That I have a car and can ostensibly go places and do things of my choosing.

That I have some manner of computer with which to traverse the intranets and to write the sibhod.

That I do not weigh 60000000000000000000000000000 lbs.

That I am not blind or handicapped or deformed.



I finally figured out how to remove the de.licio.us links from my feed. Huzzah.

After I get back from sleeping for a couple years, I intend to have some much higher-qual writing, a few new movies, and ideally some sort of "Movie Index."

Have a weekend that is not too bone-chilling.

(ps: somebody visited my post "facefarting action" today because they searched "FACE FARTING ASSHOLE" on aol.com. It is amazing how a few choice keywords can get one some traffic one might have otherwise never received. Now I'm torn over which phrase has the better ring to the ear: "real facefarting" or "face farting asshole". Or maybe "Hrvatska Schoolgirls Diarrhæaing Vodkapoop Into Each Other's Mouths".)