You bet your bottom dollar. Those Ideas for Change I mentioned last post were/are Damn Good Ideas. No way around it. It's nice to have a little challenge once in a while; right now I am grasping for proverbial conceptual straws and finding it pretty difficult not to write about My Cock.
It's amazing. I'm developing a sense of competence with my New Job, and within the first week, no less. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping "the other shoe doesn't drop."
Not to be unprofessional or crass or ungrateful or anything, though, but I am kinda overqualified for the job. All the other people I work with are students at the CC, and were hired ostensibly through the college's work-study budget. My immediate "bosses" are senior clerks, not necessarily masters-degree-holding Librarians.
U.Crit.Giver: "Shut your fucking mouth, Ass Hole, you should be thankful you even HAVE a job"
Sinister Response: I never said I wasn't, Ass Hole.
Discussion:
You do hear "horror stories" about degree-holders, even at the master's level, desperately applying for a job, any job, and managers then need to make the difficult, ludicrous decision of Which Ridiculously Overqualified person to pick for the job. In some cases, I wouldn't be at all surprised if the "Winning Candidate" were chosen at random. Interviews be damned!
It sounds strange given my overall view of humanity-as-idiots, but there's also this cruel reality of there being too many smrt people and simply not enough jobs to go around. So if you didn't get your degree in business or engineering, you str8-up WASTED your degree. Period.
With my school-savvy, I could have PWNED a trade-school certificate program in under a year and could have very well been making twice as much money at age 19 as an IT Professional or an Electrician's Apprentice or a Mechanic or an HVAC Installer or a Medical Assistant, than I am now at age 26 with the Prestigious Degree-in-Nothing. That's humbling. And I have no one to blame but myself. Other kids who went to my school and who majored in smart things like Chemical Engineering or Business are making like 60 K a year now, easily. Obviously this is a bad way to be thinking, but this example shows you can get stuck in a "Downward spiral of Self-Criticism and Regret", and really the best thing you can do is not think about it too much.
Yup.
So I guess I should get into a trade-school program and PWN it in under a year then, uh? But what? None of that shit gives me a Stiffy. I've only ever talked about IT/Networking because a 10-second glance at the BLS Report / Occupational Outlook Handbook suggests this field is both "in-demand" and it pays not-too-shabbily. Why not, uh? (Hmm. I can't find the webpage that originally compelled my argument, but this page seems pretty close.)
OK. Fine. I'm gonna cave-in and talk about Interpersonal Interactions right now. But, PTL, it's nothing "Libidinous". Quite the opposite: it's on everybody's favourite topic, SMALL TALK.
Being Hopelessly Unemployed for a long time and never being the most extraverted person to begin with, one's Small-Talk skeelz can deteriorate into utter decrepitude. I've never held a job where two or more people would be in close enough proximity for long enough to carry out an actual conversation during work hours. Well, other than little old ladies. But anyone within 20 years of my own age? Hale no! In truth, I've not been accustomed to The Fine Art of Regular (Frequent) Conversations ever since I moved back to the Real World in 2006.
So it was somewhat mindblowing to be sitting there doing some routine computer work (of which I was eminently capable) while two other co-workers (students) had a conversation. I was positioned close enough to hear them (eavesdrop) but in order to actually enter the conversation I would have to make a blatant gambit, move closer, and speak decisively. While I considered all of this, the topic of their conversation became more specific - a topic that was known to both of them, but not me, and required more than a beginner's level of familiarity. This subtle shift upped the stakes, as it were, and made a possible entry by Yours Truly a little more difficult, and potentially intrusive.
Plus I have this bad habit where I say things that just don't make sense. Non sequiturs and quasi-dyslexic thought/speech patterns. It's perhaps some kind of autism or aphasia. Or I'll be listening to someone and my mind will go blank. If I say the first thing that comes to mind without thinking, it usually doesn't make sense. And then if I think before I speak, I usually overthink it, and for too long, allowing the conversation to fall slack, or, at best, become forced and halted. Awk-wurrrd!.
So after a few minutes of pondering all that, I figure I'd make myself look engrossed in my work, leaving the convo to them. It was a young man and a young woman. They both seemed to be decent speakers/talkers/conversators, even though both may have fallen under the High-School Classification of "Nerds." Relatively nerdy, Relatively smart, relatively likable. And perfect experts at talking to each other.
I was slightly frustrated, because I felt a desire to jump into the discussion. But the desire wasn't exclusively for conversation for conversation's sake: rather, my motive was to Prove Myself as the Instantly Wonderful Best Co-Worker Ever, so as to establish the most comfortable Employment Environment Ever. I.e., a rather perfectionistic fear.
And then I realized that the conversation itself was kind of interesting: an articulate skewering/psychoanalysis of another person. Getting inside a person's head. As a Counselor, this is right up my alley.
Still, I overthought ways I could insinuate myself into this conversation, and then the topic shifted again, or I had some tasks to do in another part of the library. Escape!
To my defense, however, it's always taken me more than one day to "warm up" to people. I'm paranoid about first-impressions and the ways co-workers view me, though, so I become Mr Nice Guy The People Pleaser. I realize this is overly Passive - but if I ever end up feeling directly threatened, then I'm not afraid to swing my Sinister Dick around.
I've always been overly self-conscious about being Perceived as "Weird." : "That guy's so Weird. Why's he so quiet? Why doesn't he say anything? What's wrong with him? Doesn't he know how to talk to people? Or is he just a huge asshole? Either way, he's weird."
Now, "weirdness" has a few implications for Libido as per Libidinal Expression, e.g., "He's weird" is roughly analogous to "He's a eunuch."
Nothing, I'd be more-than-happy to assure you, could be further from the truth.
WHY SO DEFENSIVE?
Anyway. It's always taken me A While to Get Used to New Situations.
Unsolicited Advice-Giver: "Yeah, well, stop taking so damn long to get used to new situations. Stop overthinking things."
THANKS for your CONSTRUCTIVE CONCERN, ASS HOLE.
Come on. I'm still getting used to this sleep-schedule. I'm not at my best in the Mornings Yet.
I made a bit of a Redemption, anyhow, when somebody started talking about how awesome HOUSE was, and I seized the opportunity to second the emotion. And, more importantly, use Body Language and Tone and etc to dispel any potential suspicion that I was a Weirdo OR a Smug Ass Hole.
Why do I even care? Maybe I should just have these people's babies already!
So that's that. I'm just doin' it to it. And you'd be very surprised. When I'm in a professional capacity, I can actually be Very Nice and Very Pleasant and Very Friendly and Very Helpful. Delivering 188% Customer Satisfaction. I'm not even making this up. Not bad uh?
I gotta get another job so I can get out of the house as much as humanly possible.
ii. let me play with your body baby
Anyway. As part of The SIBHoD Paradigm Shift, I intend to put an increased emphasis on Research and related commentary - using research as a Focus or Reference Point from which I may compare, contrast, discuss introduce, elaborate, expound, etc as many of my topics as I can stand. In other words, I'm not ready to abandon talking about my own Sinister Life, but I will make this talk seem less Livejournaly by dropping citations more often than I've been.
Yes, this Research/Literature is likely to be mostly of a Social/Behavioural Sciences & Humanites bent. Excluding Film journals. (I don't want to do Academic Research on/for every fucking movie I watch.) The major reason I'm doing any research at all is, as I said above, to make "The Personal" somewhat less personal. Nobody likes an Overdiscloser!
I could understand reading Right-Wing Catholic Propaganda for 6,000,000 hours a day if it constituted some kind of RESEARCH, for god's sakes. What Research Means To Me Is Puposeful, "Informed" WRITING. And, in this case, it wouldn't matter to me if the Writing were a critical, interdisciplinary, nuanced Discussion on Right-Wing-Catholic-Propaganda, or if the Writing were itself str8-up RWCP. It's unsettling to me to think of so much reading being done, with no writing.
Not that I'm implying any rules about Reading-to-Writing Ratios. I have the opposite problem: I do very little serious reading, and tons of semi-serious Writing. Loads.
Well, to be fair, it's really my Approach to / Style of Reading that's at issue here. In a way, I actually read quite a fair bit. But I don't read entire books, I don't read things front-to-back, I do a lot of Skimming, and I read a lot of Intranets-based material rather than print materials per se (i.e., books.) I read abstracts and skim over selective portions of (scholarly) articles. And I'm much less reluctant around blogs and regular ol' journalistic/non-academic Articles. So yeah, I guess I do actually Read.
Do You like to eat the Big Salt at the bottom of an empty bag of pretzels?
How is the day-before-Thanksgiving The Biggest Bar Day of the Year? Or is that just a Local marketing strategy? Why not the day before Labor Day or the day before July 4 or something?
Around these parts, though, there's a feeling in the air at t-giving: we are undeniably and obviously in the middle of a massive seasonal transition here, and I'd claim that a semi-conscious collective fear about the arrival of winter is part of the reason for all the overindulgence and the mania experienced around here, around thanksgiving: drinking, eating, shopping, madness.
"Classwar, you're too cerebral. Sometimes you need to stop overintellectualizing everything and just let your Body Talk." WRONG! Contrary to popular belief, my cerebral side is adequately balanced by a quite-virile Physical Side. It simply takes some Expressions-Less-Taken, that's all. ASS HOLE.
I can't have a problem with Narcissists because I myself am a Huge Narcissist, and I don't mind it! My issue is with Narcissists who Impose their Narcissism on others. It would be the same as me going out in public and forcing people to read the SIBHoD right then and there!!!1
I am waaay too sleepy to be writing a SIBHoD this awesome, if it's anywhere nearly as awesome as my sleepy mind now-perceives it.
How have I not heard of this yelp.com site yet? The Mozilla Team makes it sound like it's as ubiquitous as Craigslist. And maybe it is. I'm often the last to hear about Big Things. But I could see myself killing more than a few hours on this site. It's basically just reviews of restaurants, bars, establishments, Places in any given amerikkkan neighborhood. A decent clearinghouse of info and opinions, and perhaps even a g-dsend for the Frequently Bored who need a good Memory Jog. Damn son!
Well, it's good to kill one hour if you live in a really lame area like I do, and:
1. There isn't any place interesting to go except you-know-what
2. There isn't anybody writing about them.
I just don't understand how people can use the same Myspace picture for years. Literally. I've been on Myspace almost 3 years now and I've known some people who've NEVER changed their picture in that time. I get uppity after a few months, for god's sakes.
I'm starting to think that if I still haven't gotten a tattoo and I still hate tattoos at the age of 26, I'm probably never going to get one. It's good to have these small certainties to comfort us.
Of course, a few people I actually know and like happen to have tattoos, but it def ain't the tattoos that make them cool.
My general opinion isn't necessarily that tattoos are crass (although they certainly can be, and frequently are!), so much as they are gay.
In the past few days I've been glued to Photoshop. I simply cannot stop swapping faces. The Face-Swap has gotten me back into Photoshop, in the worst possible way. I argue the effectiveness of the F-S humor combined with the ease of its execution make Face Swapping something With Which One Could Definitely Go Overboard.
Twilight. Teenage girls PWN the Box Office. It's idiotic, really: one doesn't need a weatherman as that faggot Bob Dylan once sang. Stuff like The Clique and Gossip Girl are also at an all-time peak of popularity, and Harry Potter has been going strong and stronger over the past 7 years or so. Girls and women are obviously the Final Frontier of moneymaking in Books and Movies. If I were a movie marketer, you can be damn sure I'd be jumping on the Girl Bandwagon right about now. Gold Rush Son!
I did some "Black Friday" action at the mall just to do some people-watching. There really wasn't much to report. People are ugly fat dumb excruciating idiots who dress like complete trailer trash. I don't know how people are attracted to one another. Because I sure amn't.
Then we went to 3 bars and people-watched more fat, ugly idiots, and drank a lot of beer. This resulted in next-day crabbiness and lethargy. At this point, the best thing you can do is stay well-hydrated and vow certain Oaths to yourself.
Current events: Terror in Mumbai. 150 people slain by terrorists. Yup. Sucks to be them. Unfortch. And that's the extent of my commentary.
Wow. Looks like the Hookers are gonna put me out of business. I've been noticing the "Call Girls / Escorts" you see in the back of the paper are now more and more often advertising what is called "GFE" - "The Girlfriend Experience." What this means, to the best of my knowledge, is that instead of merely paying for mechanical sex in a seedy hotel room, you actually go out on a Date with the Hooker and s/he playacts Romantic Interest in you. And then you go back to the hotel (or not) and have, I imagine, Tender Girlfriend Style Sex. (or not). I'm guessing there's even probably cases of Superlonely guys paying for the Date only, and no sex.
Obv, I thought this was all pretty sad: That there were these guys who were so lonely and desperate that they would pay a hooker to pretend to be romantic with them. But I've always been well-aware of the existence of these guys, so I thought I was on The Cutting Edge with my ideas of "Hang Out Hookers" and "Cuddle Hookers" and "Make-Out Hookers" and "Coffee Hookers" and "Dinner Date Hookers" and Etc. And now it looks like I'm gonna have to compete with Actual Hookers for this market! Those Fucking Whores! I'm just trying to make a little extra money here by fulfilling a very real market-demand! I guess it only makes sense, though, for those who actually already are Hookers to try and diversify their services to capitalize on this (burgeoning?) market.
iii. make you real hot
I've been listening to Rage Against the Machine pretty much every day. They have become The go-to band on my playlist. I know. Really weird, right? What's even worse is that since there's only a limited amount of Rage to soak up, I'm worried I might start listening to Audioslave. And I've typically made fun of them like they were NICKELBACK or HINDER or DAUGHTRY or something. Yegods.
I've been really bad at responding to Myspace messages. Really, Really, Really bad. I wouldn't take it personally if I were You. I just tend to do my Turtle Act in the winter. Fucking S.A.D.
I had a real case of The Mondays at my new Job here. I was very, very bad at making Small Talk. I hope people don't think I'm weird. My "excuse" was that it was the first day back after thanksgiving, and that I'd gotten Crunk on Saturday night (oooh boy, did I ever) and spent All Of Sunday laying comatose in bed (much to the concern of my family) AND my coffeemaker is On The Fritz (Cracked Coffeepot!!) so I had to settle on but one 7-11 coffee to get me through today. I mean, I was just str8-up Sleepy, son. Either way, I should probably spend my free time now furiously researching "How To Make Small Talk." Not that I haven't already done the research, but I forgot it all.
Yeah, I didn't mean to drink so much on Saturday night, but...it happened. I don't think I offended any more than two people, and even then it was not intentional. It was just me being sloppy and incoherent. Blame my Medication, Bwahahaha. And I certainly didn't rape or molest anyone. So there.
LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO LIBIDO.
Wow. I am terrible at responding to messages. Just absolutely terrible. And it would only take two seconds too. But for any people who have kindly Myspace messaged me and I have blown them off, rest assured I wish you all the very best.
I think I am even more Introverted than I once thought. Going someplace where there is any amount of people - whether it is 20 or 200, whether I like them or hate them - can be draining and excruciating. I can spend hours of quality Small Group time with Small Numbers of people, but at any sort of party or gathering or Bar or Medium Group, I'm Dead Man Walkin'. At this point, booze is never a good idea. It's just a bit discomfiting to think that there's not really a world of difference between 20 friends and 200 assholes. I guess constant cigarette breaks outside in the cold are the solution. Cigarette breaks away from other people taking cigarette breaks. Or: Always staying at home and never going anywhere. Hmm. Interesting.
In school and at work and on tv, from the way people talk, it seems that Everyone Is Getting More Action Than You. That's just the way it seems. It always seems like that. And for Everybody. In reality, everybody is getting Less Action than everybody thinks. There was some psych/soc study on it. Pluralistic Ignorance, that's the one. Lambert, Kahn, & Apple (2003) discuss the phenomena of young-adult "hook-ups" as regards pluralistic ignorance. People assume that it ("Gittin' Some") happens to everybody else more often than it happens to them-selves. They see themselves as So Different, when really, everybody else is actually saying the same thing as they are. So they aren't actually So Different.
Or, as this semi-interesting article from Slate reads:
Laumann's work countered the fond image of a national sex party. More than 80 percent of his interviewees said they'd had either one or no sexual partners in the prior year. If Kinsey made people think about the elephant in the master bedroom that at the time no one talked about in public, Laumann reeled us back in from the Madonna sex-is-everywhere idea. Kinsey may have reassured people that their taboo practices were not so taboo; Laumann helped the more conventional among us take comfort that the neighbors weren't having all that much fun, either.
So interpret that however you'd like. Preferably in a way that makes you happy.
(Of course, "The Problems with Sex Research and Statistics-in-General" is an entirely separate, and quite, erm, dry discussion, and I don't want to get into it right now. Maybe I am being irresponsible and/or taking things out of context. I'm just trying to help people feel better about themselves, and I definitely wouldn't say I'm giving them Blatantly 'False' hope!)
I have to try to find a new $10 coffeemaker. And then I'm gonna make coffee for tomorrow and watch a movie. Son. Crossing Fingaz to not being as Crabby tomorrow.
Now here's a weird dream: I was drearily approaching a high school sports center for mandatory "bowling." It was located in a white-trash part of town. We had to be teamed up with strangers, who were all trashy older men. And we had to pay 50 cents as a fee. Had to. I gave my money to a trashy man with a moustache and a dirty white t-shirt. He said that if I didn't average at least 100 points like he did, he'd break my kneecaps. Then he gave me a cigarette - one of those disgusting "small cigars" that don't taste like cigarettes at all and last for 88 hours.
We went inside the sports center. This was one fucked-up version of "bowling." I'd draw a picture if I had some easy way to upload it. So you and your partner are "fighting" your opponents, who stand about 45 feet away. You load the bowling ball into a sling/catapult and fire it over towards them. If the ball comes crashing down on one of their heads and splits their skull, you get points. Then you turn to your right, where you have to dash over to another catapult-station. Between you and that, though, there are two baseball pitchers who are trained to throw fastballs at you as you run across. And obviously you don't want to get hit by a 90mph baseball.
And after that the dream just got Really weird.
iv. let me do all the things you want me to do
MOOVIES
BURN AFTER READING. I'm not going to say it sucked, because it didn't necessarily suck. I'd rather watch a "dud" from the Coen Brothers than a "hit" from just about 90% of other filmmakers. It was watchable at worst and downright entertaining and funny at best. But somewhere in there the pervasive sense of "flat pop" or "no fizz" or "warmed-over" or "rehashed" kept tearing at my mind. Uninspired, perhaps? "Autopilot"? I mean, sure, the Coens did do "Intolerable Cruelty" and "The Ladykillers". They're no strangers to a slump. All the Greats are hit-or-miss in a way: Woody Allen, most noticeably; and I'm very vocal about not liking my Gay Lover von Trier's early film "The Element of Crime" (although I would not say that was an Unqualified "Dud", as it was immediately obvious from the Heavily-Stylized Look of the film that it was a painstaking labour of love).
The seeming self-awareness of the film is its most positive quality. I.e., It's as if the Coens are saying to the auidence, Yeah, we just came off the success of No Country, and now we're gonna take it down a notch and wrist out something light and simple by our standards. And at the same time, we'll make fun of ourselves a little bit. The Coens obviously love plot twists and just generally over-wrought plots altogether. Big left turns out of nowhere. Yet it's always interesting and compelling and expertly-crafted. This time, there's twist after twist after twist, but absolutely nothing is revealed. There is nothing to reveal. Therein lies the rather subtle humour. It's most evident in the scenes where the one mid-level CIA guy is reporting his progress on the case to his superior.
There's quirky characters in the Coen style. Brad Pitt was underwhelming, which I suppose is better than overwhelming. Malkovich and Clooney and Tilda Swinton really brought the film up.
My complaint is, where's the Classic Coen Brothers dialogue? Anyone who's ever watched Raising Arizona or Big Lebowski or Fargo or Miller's Crossing knows damn well that nobody talks like the characters in a Coen Brothers Movie. Nope. There ain't much of that here. Except maybe McDormand and Pitt's banal clichetalk like "Jeez o Petes" etc. Third-rate Coen Catchphrases, Writing, and Delivery here, although they might get an extra half-star for probably being aware that they're "laying down" and taking a little breather with this one.
I dunno. I wasn't one of those people who "absolutely LOVED" No Country, and I'm really hoping the Coens have one more Raising Arizona or Lebowski left in them. Let's just say I'm not horrendously optimistic.
Burn After Reading was definitely not worth the hype, and anyone who LOVES it is mental.
THE WICKER MAN. The original 1970s version. It was entertaining, and elegantly created its own strange and slightly disturbing universe. But even though the movie is a healthy 88 minutes long, I still fell asleep because I'd gotten up at 6 am after a mere 2 and a half hours of alcohol-disturbed sleep. Kinda slow, folks. I'd like to watch it again when I'm more alert because it wasn't terrible. I'll also probably end up watching the remake with Nic Cage.
IKIRU (TO LIVE): Yup, I managed to make it 26 years without actually seeing a Kurosawa film. As I'm gradually everpwning the library, it seems like the only "good stuff" left is that foreign stuff: French, Japanese, Italian, etc. I'm not a huge Godard fan after suffering drunkenly though "Pierrot le Fou", and I'm not springing to watch Truffaut after being slightly bored by "The 400 Blows." And Tarkovsky and Bergman are impossible to stay awake for. Yes, I need action and excitement and entertainment. I'd rather watch a "Bad" movie if it distracts me, focuses me, keeps me awake.
Well, I hate 88 hour long epics on samurais and feudal Japan, so that rules out most of Kurosawa for me. And, of course, I do have a prejudice against most things Japanese. It just doesn't fascinate me. It doesn't Rock My Sinister Libido.
So I sat down and watched Ikiru in 2 parts. It was actually pretty good. A story about a man dying from stomach cancer who attempts to give some meaning to his, erm, meaningless existence. I felt the story/character had some real heart, and I was bored much less than I anticipated. What more can you ask for from a film?
HIGH TENSION: Nope, I still had not seen this one till quite recently. I've been having a growing urge to watch shitty, slash-em-up, violent entertainment/horror. Possibly because I see a shitton of these types of movies whenever I go to Family Video. But I'm still really very picky, and will not rent horror willy-nilly. Although the tale of a demented psychopath Human doesn't generally appeal to me, this movie appealed to me because 1. everyone's seen it but me 2. Philippe Nahon (SEUL CONTRE TOUS = 88 stars) plays the maniac 3. It was directed by Alexandre Aja, who recently did "Mirrors", which I kinda liked.
I was pretty disappointed by HT. It wasn't god-awful, but it wasn't nearly as good as I'd thought it would be. The main actress Cecile de France was Dyke-Hot, though. There's also a rather good/creative decapitation scene.
Not the worst I'd ever seen, but not worth the hype. I liked Mirrors better!
LAKEVIEW TERRACE. Dollar Tuesdays. I was torn between this and "Nick and Norah", and I chose racial tension amidst suburban sprawl rather than michael fucking cera getting validated for being gay. LT was well worth the dollar. Good, solid, mindless entertainment. I personally enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to. I wouldn't spring to watch it twice. I was just expecting worse. This movie actually pretty much held my attention. The reversal of racial stereotypes here is pretty heavy-handed, i.e., the treatment of themes like "hypocrisy" and "double standards." You know, black girl with the white guy gets shunned by The Brothers, etc. I was much more concerned with the issues of class: i.e., the black girl's father WAS for all intents and purposes, white. He was whiter than Obama. This is probably obvious to any true soul brotha, but I don't really know any black people to consult because I live in a culture physically (socially, economically, emotionally, etc) divided by racism. I felt the movie should have encouraged a sense of ambivalence better, rather than turning Sam Jackson into "The Bad Guy" the moment he slapped his daughter. It was all a little bit too much Black and White (HA, HA, HA.) Still not hella, hella boring though. I've seen much, much worse. I might have even enjoyed myself more watching LT than watching "Burn After Reading."
HANNIBAL RISING: I'm not even technically done watching this one. I have about 25 minutes left. I've been watching it in installments over the past 3-4 nights. So you know there's absolutely no way the movie should be 2 hours long like it is. I've always had a hardon for Hannibal, though, and noticing this one Epic Fail at the Box Office only drew my attention to it further. It's all pretty paint-by-numbers. It's no "Hannibal," it's no "Red Dragon." Rather predictable and recommended mainly to other Hannibal completists. It is, however, beautifully photographed and the score is decent. (It gets bonus points for taking place partly in Lithuania - Lecter's ancestral Home - even if it wasn't really filmed there [but maybe it was.] ) I'm not sure it really explains anything about how/why Hannibal became a Cannibal. Well, it does, but it's pretty lame. The movie's surprisingly watchable, though, partly because the guy who plays Hannibal, Gaspard Ulliel, is rather strikingly handsome, and the type of guy girls would probably Flick The Ol' Bean To. Some French Faggot who was probably a model and who only has one zoolander face. Hopefully it ends well, although I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't.
Here's a picture of Gary Oldman's character from "Hannibal." Now there's a face you can really flick the ol' bean to.
v. 'cause tonight baby, i wanna get freaky with you
THINGS I LIKE
I like the movie "Tarnation" even though it was through John Cameron Mitchell that Jonathan Caouette was able to make it so big (I just don't like the idea of "Short Bus." Although I guess the merit of "Hedwig" more than cancels that out.) Anyway, "Tarnation" is one of those biopicdocs with high rewatchability, much like the great "American Movie." My favourite scenes of Tarnation are those that involve the unmistakable Harrowing/Horrifying visuals + sounds:
1. his mother goes in to get electroshock and then there's this filter effect or something where you see a photograph of her smiling face and then it quickly turns into a hideous oversaturated, overcontrasty purplish hue that is rather chilling
2. There's this other artsy scene where there's a shot of power lines (or something) and then, at random intervals, for a split-second there are flashed intercuts to an Ungetawaywithable Face. A big part of why the face is so scary is because it's flashed so quickly you can't get a good look at it.
Once an old friend and myself almost died in hysterical laughter as we put these split-seconds of the movie on "Pause". Reveling in The Obscene and the Just-Plain-Wrong. Pretty Transgressive. Good Times!
So, of course, I was trying to find these images on Teh Intranets and post them here for everyone's Viewing Pleasure, most of all my own.
Yeah, such would kinda demystify it, and I do hate to do that, but I argue that the sick pleasure of ogling these grotesqueries for as long as you like would be quite worth it.
So, my point is moar-oar-less proven:
See? It's just narcissistic Li'l'Ol' Jonathan Caouette again, made-up like some hoamoa. No Big Deal! But he does a lot with a little here: the flashing, "subliminal" quality of the intercut images + the accompanying ridiculous "ding" sound produces an aggregate effect that's indeed titillating-as-tits.
I generally enjoy brief glimpses of Teh Horrifying:
Mulholland Drive:
1. First Appearance of Man Behind Winkies
2. When Betty and Camilla break into Diane's apartment and approach the absolutely gruesome corpse, cultiminating in a great, brief close-up on the corpse's face
Event Horizon:
3. The classic scene where they play the videotape of what happened to the ship's previous crew.
What's great about the brevity of these images is that your imagination makes you remember them as being worse than they actually are. I would totally do something like this in a movie of my own.
I like the Theme Song to Wizards of Waverly Place. It's ridiculously, uncannily Catchy. I'm not going to post a Youtube of it because that's part of the New Way, Brother.
But I will post a Youtube of the "Nigger Cunts" joke from "The Aristocrats!" :
Well, I can't find it. It's by an SNL writer named T. Sean Shannon. Not the biggest comedy legend in the world. Apparently the "Nigger Cunts" joke caused some controversy for him.
Anyway. I like the "Nigger Cunts" joke.
vi. baby don't you understand
POYEM O' THE POST ? : Not feelin' it this week.
vii. i wanna be your nasty man
GHEY SURVHEY
1. Regret Something You Did In The Past?
Regrets are underrated. People act like there's something SO WRONG with having even a single regret in your life. Obviously one shouldn't feel like they're Overwhelmed by Regret; still, I claim that Regrets are a natural by-product of a well-examined life. And, regrets are actually Valuable Lessons. Nothing regretted, nothing learned.
2 Country You Wanna Visit:
I enjoy the Scandinavian countries. Although I should probably see London and Paris before I die, uh? And Italy gets a lot of good press. Dunno. I'd like to travel somewhere where it's beautiful and not too cold and the people are not hideous, stupid, fat fucks.
3 Way You Wanna Die:
Heh. What did I do in high-school such that I wasn't taking ghey survheys like this? In some manner that is not excruciatingly painful. Ideally in an opiate-induced coma.
4 Like Thunderstorms? You mean CUMDERSTORMS hahahaha. Yeah, they can be fun. I'm not Scared of them if that's what you're getting at. I don't like Driving in them etc obviously.
5 Get Along W/ Your Parents?
Not a heck of a lot. We just do not understand each other at all.
6 R U A Health Freak?
I've been doing pretty shoddily on my brisk jogs, although I do stick to a fairly-healthy diet. I'm not gaining weight, so I do have that going for me.
7 U Think Ur Attractive?
R U kidding me? I yam WHITE HOT. I am not a bad-looking feller by any stretch of the imagination. I should really Throw myself at women more often. I can't imagine they'd mind.
8 Do You Believe In Yourself? Sometimes a bit too much, I reckon.
9 Wanna Get Married?
Whoa! Slow down, Ernie! I'm fine with taking Baby Steps and trying to get to the One Month Mark first.
10 Wanna Go To College?
I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE, ASS HOLE.
11 Shower Daily?
I like to. Sometimes when you get up at 5:45 am, you only have time for a "negro shower" though...
12 Want Kids?
I'm not into breeding so much. I would need to find person(s) worthy of Mixing my Seed with. And we'd hopefully have passed the One Month Mark.
13 When Do U Wanna Lose Your Virginity?
Any year now.
14 Do U Hate Anyone?
I have a hateblog. god this is boring.
15 Can You Unwrap A Starburst W/ Your Tongue?
No, and I wouldn't want to know anyone who can.
16 Do You Think You Can Sing? Negro I KNOW I can sing.
17 Can You Open You Eyes Underwater? Yes. Yes I can. Yawn.
18 Eat Whatever And Not Worry? I guess it would really be up to the individual if they wanted to "worry" about gaining 100 pounds and turning into a hideous fat fuckslob.
19 Can You Whistle? Better than most.
20 Can You Walk In High Heels? I have never tried. They would probably make me look a little faggy.
21 Do You Sleep W/ The Light On? No, but I do often like to have the TV on.
22 Do You Like Super Spicy Foods? I always tell the people at the Thai place to make it as spicy as it gets, and it never is.
23 Can You Multitask? Heh. As far as my Supervisor knows, I "excel at multitasking and taking initiative."
24 Touch Your Nose W/ Your Tongue?
No. Absolutely Not.
25 Can You Fit In Your Locker?
Uh... I don't have a locker I'm not in HIGH SCHOOL.
26 Do You Spit?
I try not to, because it's outrageously uncouth and boorish and crude and rude and disgusting and impolite. If you see some guy spitting, chances are he's a H-uge douchebag. Maybe I should start spitting more?
27 Can You Taste The Difference Between Pepsi And Coke?
Anyone who swears they cannot is clearly not intelligent enough to exist or reproduce.
28 If You Could Wish 4 Anything...What Would You Wish?
Money and power. Guns, Money and power.
29 What Kind Of Perfume Or Colone Do You Wear?
I'm still working on this bottle of English Leather from years ago. I'm thinking it's time for an upgrade.
30 What Kind Of Soap Do You Use?
Dial with Moisturizers. Some crisp clean mountain spring scent or something.
31 What's Your Favorite Scent?
FART
32 Would You Choose To Live Forever If You Could?
Yeah, nothing sounds more fun than WAITING AROUND FOR ARMAGEDDON and then afterwards twiddling my thumbs for the rest of fucking eternity. Do these people know how DUMB they sound?
viii. i wanna make your body scream
So, as far as SIBHoDs go, this wasn't necessarily on the Short List of the Greatest SIBHoDs. Still, I feel more-than-vindicated knowing I still well-surpass the Average Blogger not only in quality, but in quantity as well. Plus this is also the most fun a human can legally have, other than by MAKING MONAY. Anyway, next week should be solid. Got some promising movies on the to-watch pile.
ix. then you will know just what i mean
Have an Adequate-or-Better Week, Sinister Readers, and try not to jew or get jewed.
Fuckit. Just go listen to the goddam song already:
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