CareerBuilder can really be a ball-buster. Simple Brainless Data Entry Jobs Simply Do Not Exist. The vast majority of "clerical/administrative" jobs call for specific accounting or HR or high-level shit that I do not have. Or they call for something ridiculous like 70 words per minute typing speed. Salaries are stated as starting out at at Least 32K. If I can't get a ~22K Data Entry Job that I'm already Qualified For, then how do I get a 32K job I'm not qualified for?
It took about 20 minutes on Careerbuilder today to make me want to make an app't with Dr 357 Magnum.
Borders is pretty fucked up too.Today I tried several locations of Caribou Coffee. Their application process was the most annoying yet. I still hope this Blockbuster thing works out.
Another one of the Huuuge Problems with being Shamefully Unemployed is: Besides being under considerable financial and existential strain, You simply have Nothing to Talk-About with other people, and thus meeting new people is rendered Impossible. Even talking with people you already know is difficult, especially if they are currently making any kind of semi-stable living. Shameful Unemployment has such a "ripple effect" of Horrifying devastation that you can't even imagine it all at first.
For about 24 hours after I had my latest interview, I was in the most cheerful mood I'd been in for a while. I was acting like a normal person, having normal conversations. I caught a glimpse of How Normal Employed people must feel every day. It wasn't too damned bad at all.
My friend is in the bloody god damn HOSPITAL. Fortunately, he'll probably be all-right, but still. It's ridiculous how ridiculous things can get sometimes.
It's good for a person to have something that "Feeds the Soul". Something that they can do and feel good about doing it. Even if it's completely selfish, who cares. It can keep the ol' morale at a healthy level.
Then there's the idea of Doing Random Acts of Kindness. Like, everyday stuff that you do just to be a good person, and you do them so that no-one knows it was you who did them. This was mentioned in a discussion I was having with a friend, and I also mentioned the sentiment in 6,000,000 words or more in my Niceness/Altruism post a while back. These are all good things. Do them if you can do them. It can't hurt. If you're too isolated from people, then you can lose these valuable opportunities.
Personality Discussion Series: I noticed a semi-interesting article on WikiHow called "How to Go from Introvert to Extrovert in 7 Steps." Which is a misleading title, because it doesn't advocate abandoning your Introverted Self, but rather, incorporating the best parts of Extroversion. So you can be more Balanced and get the "Best of Both Worlds", as Miley would say. Some decent and not-too-offensive ideas, here.
I cooked some chicken yesterday with a shitload of Garlic. Holy Christ. I went all-out and actually used fresh garlic instead of the lazy-ass Garlic Flakes from the Tube. It was Powerful.
I remember way back when Stuff White People Like was a Funny Blog, and now it's a Totally-Played-Out Book, complete with Author Tour. I'm not a fan of the Blogs-Becoming-Books. Although if some publisher wanted to give me a Phat Paycheck to make a SIBHoD Book, I definitely would. Better than working at Circuit City, eh?
I think it's a bit reductive to use the word "type" when talking about a person's "type." Although, I guess, it's the closest word we have in this language. And, to be fair, a lot of people do have a pretty consistent "type." ("Big Tits, Nice Ass.") We must not forget those who do not, however. Case-by-case basis, brah.
Pizza is not a healthy meal. Hamburger Helper is not a healthy meal. Sloppy Joe is not a healthy meal. Any meal that came out of a package is very likely not to be a healthy meal. It's amazing how people can be so concerned with health and being healthy and not being fat, yet they can't understand obvious, basic nutritional facts such as those.
Libido is a weird, ridiculous thing. Let's say you're an Eskimo man. Or a Siberian or something like that. It's Minus88 degrees all year long and everyone's bundled up in whaleskins and the men and the women look pretty much the same. Like walruses. There's very little Sexual Dimorphism, in other words. How on earth are the men attracted to the women? Or vice-versa? Obviously, they must be using some mad-imagination-action when they're "courting" their mates; maybe, ultimately, they end up successfully fooling their brains and bodies into being attracted to this person they initially were never attracted to.
In other words: Let's say you Forced yourself to Flirt with someone you're not Attracted to. Would the difference between your thoughts and actions produce sufficient Cognitive Dissonance to actually convince you that you're attracted to them?
I don't think this works too well in our amerikkkan culture. When people flirt with people they're not attracted to, it's generally viewed as "teasing" or "leading on", and it's not the greatest thing for either the teased or the teaser.
But if one were in a pinch, could they force/brainwash/fool themselves into being attracted to someone? Probably they could, but my gut instinct says "no, that's a godawfully terrible idea and should be avoided like the plague."
So some don't engage in "teasing" regularly. If they turn on the Charm, it's because their libido has been stimulated into Proactive Mode For Realzeez.
Ok, Ok, enough "Libido Counselor" talk for today.
For god's sakes, how can KORN be one of anybody's favourite bands? I went "browsing" people on Myspace just to see if I could find any one person who could prove that I don't hate EVERYONE, and 30 pages later, I still hate everyone. Jesus Christ. People have no idea how to present themselves online. Less is more! Unless it's the SIBHoD!
You know who sucks? People who never change their Myspace default picture! Especially if the picture SUCKS!
Sometimes it can be hard to get that feeling that you "fit in." Now, it's good to be a nonconformist and an individual and a freethinker and all that, but it's also good to have a sense of "belonging" sometimes, where you might even be understood to some level.
Still, Understanding is much more overrated than appreciation. Sometimes I wonder if it is even possible to understand another person. But you don't need to understand someone to appreciate them. So ya got that goin' for ya.
Christ help me. I'm downloading the new "Ray LaMontagne" album that just came out and is all over Myspace. Don't worry, I'm only leeching 4 songs off of it. I'm not so lame and weak that I'd download the whole thing. I don't know what got into me. Something to put in the small-talk arsenal, I guess. Holy fuck.
Despite a bunch of girls liking him, I also must admit, and not even begrudgingly, that I have an interest in Nick Drake's music. And not just because he killed himself. Those are honestly some chilled-out, smooth songs.
My former Ace in the Hole was Borders; I thought I'd mastered the Art of Unicru. Well, that remains to be seen. My new Ace in the Hole is Caribou Coffee. And I feel my next Aces In The Hole will be Barnes and Noble, and Starbucks. I'm "practicing" for those, however, since you actually have to go in there and personally hand in your application. And if you look even like a .0001% scrub when you do that, then your app gets trashed. Nosirreebob.
I also have a suspicion that if you take the app, fill it out, and Xerox it, thus "saving you time" from filling out the same info on different apps, (tedious job histories etc) that they will also trash it. Because who wants to hire a Corner-Cutter?
Books? I love books! I love reading! J'adore David Sedaris and J.D. Salinger ("Franny and Zooey", not so much "Catcher") and Chuck Palahniuk (waaay before the days of "Choke!") and Milan Kundera and Dave Eggers and Miranda July and Jonathan Lethem and Jonathan Safran Foer and Augusten Burroughs and (explosive projectile vomitus)....
READING IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HOBBIES! I ALSO LIKE LITERATE'N'LITERARY SINGER-SONGWRITERS LIKE NICK DRAKE AND RUFUS WAINWRIGHT! WHEN I WANT TO ROCK, I LISTEN TO THE KILLS AND RYAN ADAMS!
I suppose the gayer I act, the better, then.
And let's be serious. All that shite is still comparatively cooler than "The Notebook" or "The Da Vinci Code."
I reallllly need a new coat. It's getting cold out there, and my current coat is a total piece of shite. It's
1.Not Warm
2.Fucking Hideous and Old and Raggedy and pretty fucking Repugnant.
If I were a rich man, I would brave The Mall in order to get some Hot New Threads. But I am not a rich man. Still, I might just bite the bullet and try to find the Smoothest Coat I can afford. It's a crime against nature to garb this Hot Bod in anything less than the best.
Did you know Bjork came out with an album when she was like 12 years old in 1977? Yup, that's right! I believe the album was simply the eponymous "Bjork Gudmundsdottir." And if you knew Bjork's last name was Gudmundsdottir before I said that, then you have a fighting chance of getting on my Cool List. But you're not a shoo-in.
Is it a crime if I don't say one of my Favourite bands is Radiohead? I mean, I generally like them, but I wouldn't call myself a huge radiohead fan or anything. I don't take time out of my day to devote to radiohead. Portishead is much more up my alley!
Should I watch the final Presidential Debate tonight, or should I go to the Cheep Show and watch "Pineapple Express" or "Hancock" or some shitty movie, just to get out of the house? Well, I already know who I'm voting for. And I'm usually pretty well-up-to-date with my liberal newspapers, so I see absolutely no reason to sit around the house and watch the debates. Y'all can sit there and yell at the TV screen, I'm going to veg out in a seedy movie theater. And then come home and watch a hopefully decent movie or two.
I know I'm extraordinarily hateful and judgemental, but just do me a favour and "Browse People" on Myspace for a few minutes. For example, I'm browsing women "in college" or of higher education, who live within 20 miles of me. I go through the pages and bring up the profiles of girls that look about 75% "cute" or more in their pictures. More than 99.99% of the time, there will be something souldeadeningly obnoxious on the profile page:
1. "Girl Quotes." You know what I mean.
GET. THE. FUCK. OUTTA. HERE.
2. Country Music. Metal Music. Lowbrow Music. Or movies. Or books. Usually all three.
2. [Edit: Fine, Fine, since "Eternal Sunshine" is SO many people's FAVOURITE Movie, I'm not allowed to complain about it.]
3. Completely ungetawawithable spelling mistakes, even in the "Headline" (which may well be a "Girl Quote.")
4. Hella Enthusiastic about a Hella Gay Career.
5. Obnoxious, and often materialistic (fashion, brands, bags) background. Glitter and lipsticks and pictures of 6,000,000 rappers with their shirts off.
6. Tits hanging out in the picture.
7. They list "going to the mall" or "shoes" or "shopping" or "Sex" as one of their topmost interests.
7. Big interest in [gay] Tattoos.
8. They have hearts or "sexy" in their Screenname.
8. They give some lame "life story" in their "about me" talking about how indecisive and insecure they are, or about how they like to get drunk and have fun and party and go out to the club, (and often have pictures of them At The Club with the Hugest Douchebags), or how they'll be your best friend if you ask them the right questions, or what the gay name of their car is, or how they're a naughty girl who loves to be spanked, or how they love exploring their bisexuality with other cute girls, or how they like boys with sixpack abs or tall boys or muscular jock boys or geeky boys or boys in bands or boys with beards, or about how they fell in love once and they'll never let their heart be broken again....
WHO NEEDS TO KNOW THIS? IT'S A HUGE TURN-OFF! PUT IT IN YOUR GODDAM LIVEJOURNAL!
9. In short, there's something(s) in there that is mind-bogglingly STUPID and GAY. NOT COOL.
As far as Myspace profiles are concerned by me, Less Is Moar.
It's so easy to find examples of the type of BANALITY I'm talking about. But I'm not going to be so cruel as to post links to lame people's profiles.
I can get away with this with this judgemental douchebaggery because I know I'm 6,000,000 times cooler than these people.
I honestly don't know how people can like other people enough to even want to merely Hang Out with them. It's like Buk says: "AVERAGE, SEEKS AVERAGE."
If you're really cool (like me), then you have a PRIVATE Profile! Or you're a LESBIAN. Dykes are sooo much consistently cooler than straight girls. I wanna "turn" a dyke str8 one day. I've no doubt I could.
This post is going be the longest SIBHoD yet, I'm feelin.
I just wrote three paragraphs. Then I censored them all. I'm actually creating a "SIBHoD: Uncensored" post which I will unleash in a few months, just to give a taste of the blind rage. I used to have an old "blog" - really, a Livejournal, an oh-so-typical Livejournal - which basically was SIBHoD Uncensored. You thought the SIBHoD was narcissistic and whiny; you ain't seen nothin' yet. It was shockingly embarrassing, and no-one gets to read it ever. You'll be sure to get more than your fill with the upcoming "UNCENSORED POST."
I saw a band on the front page of Myspace called "THE 88". I guess neither they, nor their Jewish Record-Label People, are so hip to Anti-Semitic Jargon.
One of my favourite ready-made epithets for people is "PIECE OF SHIT." I like reducing people to a "PIECE OF SHIT." You can, of course, make modifications to this: "stupid piece of shit" "gay piece of shit" "nigger piece of shit" "stupid gay nigger piece of shit"; The idea of stripping away someone's humanity and reducing them to not just any ol' inanimate object, but to a foul waste object - a PIECE of SHIT - is somehow empowering. And hilarious.
iii. Debbie Downer ftl: "Censored" teasers
I am just a str8 Idiot. Lars von Trier should have made that movie "The Idiots" about me, and just called it "The Idiot". Like that Dostoevsky book. Which was a biography of me. (Too bad Dos didn't get my memo about him being fucking boring.)
What I mean is, I blatantly fell off the ol' Wagon again last night. I "rationalized" (kind of an ironic word, no?) it because my friend's lady-friend was buying everyone drinks. Ok, I'll have another Mind Eraser! Ok, I'll have another Beer! Sure! Why the heck not!
Well, I must have had one Mind Eraser too many, because I don't even remember leaving the pub, and I drove home against all sound advice, and I stopped at White Castle on the way back (very fuzzy memory), and somewhere I lost my glasses, my phone, my cigarettes, and a 1-shot-bottle of Seagrams V.O. I'm guessing they're all in the house of my kind friend who soundly, rightly advised me not to drive.
It's not so much the actual process of getting-drunk that I feel guilty and shameful about, it's the blatant "Blacking Out." I shudder to even think of that phrase. I certainly must have been outwardly drunk and The Boys certainly must have been thinking, "Oh God, there von Classwar goes again."
Not like I was picking fights or getting in people's faces, but, imho, even one slurred word is too many. And if I'm swaying around talking about how "Opeth have really redeemed themselves with their new album and their latest live album", it's time to rethink that next drink. And everyone shakes their heads. It's repugnant to think that women and college-kids get laid when this sort of piss happens. I just feel embarrassed. I'm just crossing my fingers and doing my Atheistic Version of Praying, hoping I didn't call or text anyone while I was in that veritable "Bermuda Triangle".
This is where Readers jump-in and Give Advice: "Well, just don't drink then. Stop drinking, and stop writing about drinking."
Wow! Thanks! I never thought of that! That is pretty simple!
There's this inaccurate perception that I'm "drunk all the time" or that "getting drunk is my job." In reality, though, that sort of thing happens much less often than not. I write in the SIBHoD or watch House or apply for shitty jobs Muuuuuuch more than I drink. However, because I drink a Legendary amount on the occasions I do drink, it appears to the world-at-large that I drink much more than I actually do. This is slightly bothersome to me. So I spend most nights just sitting around the house, watching House. And then once in a while I go out with friends and then, unfortunately, I get drunk. "There he goes again."
So now I'm just guzzling coffee and trying to stay awake until I inevitably fall asleep watching House. The good news is, a bunch of my House-on-Hold came in yesterday, and I now have more House than could choke a camel.
The Vbergvd news is, my Inter-Library Loan for Aki Kaurismaki's "Leningrad Cowboys Go America" has also come in. I can't even tell you how long I've been trying to see this movie. If I can scare up the energy, I'll pick it up today. I'm pretty excited. I can only wonder which library they found this one in. Probably some fucking University library. Probably the ol' fucking Alma Mater. They had an outstanding Film'n'Video library.
Those 1-shot Shooter Bottles'o'Booze on the counters at Liquor Stores are perhaps the Most Sinister things ever invented. I would not recommend buying any and keeping them in your pockets for when you go out to the bar and don't want to pay upwards of five dollars for a drink and you'd rather go to the bathroom and sneak in a downwards-of-one-dollar shot.
And I wouldn't recommend to women that they keep half-pint Bottles'O'Booze in their convenient Wimmin-Purses so they can save money at the bar.
And I'm not even going to make some sexist remark like "women never have to buy their own drinks anyway."
Yeah, all that is a Bit O' Debbie Downer, but, with the new Epic Post Feature, you're gonna see some Uplift eventually.
I went outside and raked the leaves. That was kinda fun. It's official autumn out there. Hoodie Weather. Sweater Weather. This year, I'd like to actually go to the orchard/cider mill and/or haunted houses/hayride.
Maybe I'll start up a Cider Mill Hooker Service. There's bound to be some money there. See, all you need is one good idea, and then you can rake in the big bucks.
Who says there's never anything interesting in the news?:
Man who killed wife over Facebook posting jailed for life: Wayne Forrester attacked his wife with kitchen knife and meat cleaver after she changed her Facebook profile to 'single'There's definitely some Epic Ftw4ge going on here.
This is why I only ever have Open Relationships. Closed Relationships are simply Closed Minded. My only rule is, rinse the other guys' jizz out of your cunt before I fill your cunt with my jizz.
When I was drunk at the bar the other night, I used that line on a random girl. She was so taken by it that I took her into the bathroom and filled her cunt with my jizz. Then she said "Thank you so much for filling my cunt with your jizz!" And then I said "It's really no big deal, it's just my jizz filling your cunt."
The only people I could ever possibly be jealous of are the lucky women who get to be in an Open Relationship with me. Sometimes I wish I could clone myself and give myself the pleasure of marrying myself. Until the technology is invented, though, I'll just have to be satisfied by jerking-off to myself in the mirror.
My favourite Livejournal community, hands-down bar-none, is "datinandrelatin". Just people asking all sorts of questions, some dumb, some smrt, about their "relationships." Back in the day I used to post remarks to the more common-sense questions. "Your relationship is an obvious clusterfuck! Dump the douchebag!" Nowadays, I don't really give a fuck, but I do like reading all the drama and thinking "What a fucking idiot!" to the especially idiotic people.
The new season of "The Pick Up Artist" has started. This show is a train-wreck. It's impossible for me not to watch. In season 1 I was sorta "fascinated" in the Pick Up Artist / Venusian Artist Community. Now I'm just outwardly, fully disgusted. "These people are all fucking idiots," I found myself thinking every 2 seconds. "This guy Mystery is an asshole and an idiot." Imho, these guys are obsessed with getting attention from the wrong kind of ladies: idiots, bar-sluts, skanks, whores, hustlers, VACUUMHEADS, no-redeeming-values. No Thanks.
These guys are not as smart as they think they are. If they were, then they'd go to fucking college and meet smart women there. They don't want smart women, though. Smart women intimidate them even more than Hawt women. No red-blooded man wants a Smrt woman. They just want a dumb fuckhole to worship their cock. What A World (XVII)!
Anyone who isn't disgusted by the idea of merely touching this guy has got a few major fucking screws loose.
I'm probably just in a crabby mood now because I got SPLATTERED DRUNK two nights ago. There's a delayed effect I tell ya!
diSEMBOWELMENT was/is one of the kvltest, most under-rated Metal bands evar. I'm putting "the tree of life and death" up here just because I like listening to it.
Guess who drank a little too much once again and turned into the World's Biggest Idiot yet again. Fucking A. This nonsense has got to stop. You'd think the shame and guilt and the violent mood swings would be more than enough motivation. What the flying fuck. I think this might actually be the last time. There's honestly a bit more to the story, too, but I don't want to talk about it on the SIBHoD. I apologize to anyone who was around me at the time. I have found myself overstimulated by large crowds lately, despite what I say on my Unicru tests.
I just drank way too much coffee and I feel like I'm going to go insane RIGHT NOW. This is not a comfortable feeling in the least. Hopefully getting some food in my stomach will keep me from being sick.
Palin on SNL? I'm glad I missed that. I'm sure it was a fucking train-wreck. I'll bet you 5 bucks right now that Obama is gonna win this election.
If I took Accounting 101 at the Community College and overemphasized my "Accounting Knowledge" on my res/covlet, would that be sufficient knowledge to get me a $10-an-hour job as an Accounts Receivable Clerk?
MOOVIES
I ran back home greedily from the Library with Fresh discs'o'HOUSE, and also some Hannah Montana, and... ..."The Element of Crime" by Lars von TRIER. This was his "debut feature", the first film in his "Europa" trilogy.
I was completely unprepared for what followed. Completely. This was artsy-fartsy and "experimental" beyond my wildest expectations. My simple verdict is that I was absolutely annoyed by it; and it seemed nothing like the Trier I knew and loved. The stylized nature was over-the-top. This was little more than Film-School Fluff! Overly Artsy! While very impressive to look at, it taxed my patience more than several times. This was just way too much off-the-deep-end for what I wanted to watch. It was Eraserhead weird. Or Godard weird. I'm not sure if you could pay me to watch it again. The "mise-en-scene" is commendable, though, and it's obvious that thousands of hours of painstaking work went into making this movie. It certainly looks like a work of art. But it's so far-out that its entertainment value sinks very low. There's lots of dreamlike images and people laying down on things that are blatantly uncomfortable-looking and the people are mostly English but the names are all German and it's in some weird, dingy "future" where it's always raining and everything is soaking wet and red-coloured. And there's lots of things dangling and swinging from ropes, and lots of grates. This must symbolize something, but what? I'm not sure if I cared.
A special feature was the documentary "Tranceformer" by Stig Bjorkman, which was a delightful portrait of Trier, and much more enjoyable than the actual movie. It's a biography and they talk to Trier and his friends and get his insight into his work and the world. It's really pretty hilarious. Trier is pretty self-conscious of himself as a bit of a "Legend"/"Enfant Terrible" and he plays off of this image to get some laughs. Never obnoxious laughs, though.
My favourite part was when Trier talked about how he strove to live his life honestly; and that the worst possible lie one could tell are the lies one tells to oneself - to betray one's ideals. I was like "RIGHT ON!!!!" Trier is a huge idealist, and he makes no bones about being interested in idealists (See "Gold Heart Trilogy"). This is a big reason why I love him so.
A big theme of my life is that "You have no choice but to betray your ideals in order to make a living. That's just part of life." Imho, that's a fucking crock of fucking shit, and a so-called "part of life" I've fiercely resisted.
Readers must understand, that inbetwixt all this movie-watching, I've been watching just-as-much, if not Moar, HOUSE. I'm intent on getting "caught up" with House, and it's a pleasant diversion when you find yourself interested enough in a series to get "caught up" with it. If I could scare up this interest in, say, Lost, or Prison Break, or Dexter, or whatever the Cool Shows are, then I'd be assured of many more hours to kill.
I also watched some Hannah Montana-on-DVD, although this is a hot-ticket, hard-to-get item at the Library. I caught some old episodes I hadn't seen, though, so that was good. This show never fails to please me. I would totally hang-out with Miley and Lilly. We'd have a lot of fun. Of course, I would totally romance Lilly and her weird teeth. In the most Charming and Respectful way possible. After she turns 18 and I'm 30. SWEET NIBLETS!
[Censored: picture of Emily Osment]
YEAH, I'M A PAEDOPHILE. IS THAT SUCH A CRIME???!!
I've been increasingly antisocial lately, and being that I puritanically disallow myself to drink, and the only social thing you can do in such a boring area is go out with your friends to the BAR, I have hence been staying home a lot and watching tv and movies until I fall asleep. It's good to see a bunch of movies, but I do have a certain social itch that I'm not really sure how I wanna scratch. Arrgh!
So, out on an errand one day, and grateful for the time it allowed me to get out of my fucking house, I decided to prolong the evening by going to see a crappy movie at The Cheep Theater. There are few pleasures like going to the movies by yourself, and so few people are cool enough to pull off such a Power Move. I went to the Cheep Show, in a white-trash mall, (obviously), and wolfed down a cigarette outside as trashy teenage boys said the word "fuck" a lot and smoked cigarettes. I could either see "Stepbrothers" or "Mirrors" or "Pineapple Express" or "Hancock."
I was torn between "Pineapple Express" and "Stepbrothers", and opted for the latter. I wanted a light comedy, I wanted the pugly faces of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly; I didn't want a Seth-Rogan vehicle where they smoked weed for the duration of the film and James Franco sat around getting stoned and looking So Hott for all the ladies. Get with the program! He's a skeezy, greasy, long-haired, dirty stoner! Where was all the positive attention when I was a long-haired st*ner?
"Stepbrothers" was absolutely ridiculous, which was just what I needed. 40 year old men acting like 4 year olds. Huge losers that never moved out of their parent's house. I love this. Manchildren. They are so immature. There's tea-bagging and name-calling and poop and fart jokes. (It's interesting that I can see JCR in something like this yet still wholly accept him as a "serious actor" e.g. "Magnolia." The guy is just that good.) There's a natural chemistry between these two guys, and not just because they sorta look and act alike, although that helps. It was waaay better than "Talladega Nights," too. But eventually the weakness of the writing began to be too obvious, and it got draggy near the end as they cobbled-together lame joke after lame joke. If either Ferrell or Reilly were not in this movie, I might have just walked out. As it was, though, it was a good way to kill an hour and a half outside of the house, and that was really all I wanted.
I avoided the temptation of Del Taco and went straight home where I watched "Mutual Appreciation." Yes, this one actually does get the courtesy imdb link from von classwar. This does not mean I LURVED it. It does mean that I probably liked it more than what the following "review" might imply, though.
God, I'm glad I don't live in NYC/Brooklyn with all these bourgeois hipster liberal-arts graduates. So fucking pretentious and annoying and No Social Graces whatsoever. Watching the people in this movie made me feel like I was right back with the Socially-Retarded Space Cadets at Liberal Bourgeois University. They don't really affect pretentiousness - it comes to them naturally, innocently, naively, so you can't feel the righteousness of holding them responsible. This is just how they've grown up - loving themselves and getting validated for their stupid, gay ideas. Being appreciated and making-out with other bourgeois, liberal college-students. Liking indie/hipster/pop music. Nonstarving, nontortured Artists. People whom Socially-Awkward von Classwar could teach a thing or two about Being Normal - yet there they are in Brooklyn getting showered with Mutual Appreciation and attention and affection and playing shows for Record Executives and Being Gaaaaaaaaaaaay As Fuuuuuuuuuck and Still getting make-out action because they're bourgeois, they're artsy, they've got a degree from blabla, and they're floppy-haired, tie-wearing hipsters.
I've never seen this "subculture" captured on film before, so that was nice. These are the type of people I Love To Hate, in short, so the movie had great value for that alone. Still, Writer/Director Andrew Bujalski (who, If I had to guess, probably went to NYU or Columbia or even somewhere in Cambridge proper and was certainly no State University grad) [note: it was Harvard] has a fair amount of "heart", whatever I mean by that. The performances are all very natural, seem almost unscripted (compare to Cassavetes' Faces from last post, where the performances, although "raw", came across as painstakingly scripted and a bit "unnatural.") "Mutual Appreciation" shows the opposite effect. Complete with all the social awkwardness, non sequiturs, obnoxiousness, navel-gazing, self-unawareness, etc, that you'd associate with overprivileged artsy NYC 20somethings.
I have to commend Bujalski for keeping the tone light, though. I think he's self-aware enough to realize the obnoxiousness of his own subculture, and he keeps it as real and as low-key as he can, so in the end, I didn't mind it being rammed down my proverbial throat, and actually hated the characters less by the end of the movie.
Girls would LOVE this movie if they knew about it. They would put it on their Myspace lists and it would make them want to move out to Brooklyn where everyone is young, sexy, sophisticated, smart, witty banterers. BARRRF. I enjoyed the movie as a sweet little slice-o-life, though, it galvanized my perception of myself as a harder-than-nails, realer-than-real, no-bullshit Midwesterner. I'd take Chicago over New York anyday.
So "Mutual Appreciation" is stupid and jewish and gay, but, if you don't fall in immediate luv with it, you still just might find yourself liking it in spite of yourself. I might even have to get ahold of Bujalski's other feature "Funny Ha Ha" now. I enjoyed his mise-en-scene, and despite the pretentiousness of the people he was following, his style is about .000000000000001% as pretentious as what you'd think when you hear "bourgeois east coast 20 something film school boy." Him keeping it simple and breezy and feelgood gets big kudos. I'm superfascinated in the concept of "Emerging Adulthood", too, and Bujalski gives a decent look at that.
It'd be interesting to watch this with some sophisticated college kids. Note to College Freshpeople: this one will DEFINITELY get you Hot Dorm-Room No-Strings-Attached Fun Sex Action. Like you need any help with that anyway.
I've heard "Kicking and Screaming" is another good one for the ol' Post-College Existential Blues, but I've not been able to find that one yet. (Not that the people in "Mutual Appreciation" showed Existential Blues, really. It just comes with the age group, sometimes.)
If there were a filmmaker like Bujalski who focused on Midwestern, underprivileged, commuter-college 20 somethings trying to find Meaning in a Dying City, well, that would be my ideal.
BUKOWSKI POYEM O' THE POST
There will be no Buk Poyem today. Simply, nothing was speaking to me by the time the Deadline rolled around. I can pretty much guarantee some manner o' Poyetry Action next time, though.
THINGS I LIKE
I'm rocking out to some Aimee Mann. Now there's a singer I'm in the mood for! No-one with at least half-a-brain can honestly say they HATE Aimee Mann. I could see not being in love with her per se, or at worst, getting the slightest bit bored with her once in a while (but not bad-boring), but I definitely cannot see Hating her. She's pretty damn likable. Really! She's not "indie"; she has an attitude but it's not obnoxious; her tunes are mostly slow and mellow and "smooth" and chillaxed; her voice has a very comforting quality, and I could listen to her sing all day. She's sometimes a little somber, but never in an overly melodramatic way. Very tasteful her music is. Shows restraint and poise, yet also Real Honesty. I'd even go see her live in concert. Unfortunately, I missed her most recent tour. Of course, I don't have $$$ for luxuries like concerts anyway grrrrr.
Primitive Radio Gods "Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand" FTWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like a good movie soundtrack. It's not uncommon for me to use movies as a jumping-off point into music. The "Julien Donkey-Boy" soundtrack or the "Eyes Wide Shut" soundtrack are good examples. And, of course, you can't go wrong with any David Lynch / Angelo Badalamenti Soundtrack. (I didn't mean for this paragraph to really refer to the "Cable Guy" soundtrack.)
I like looking at maps. I'm not entirely sure why. Sometimes I go on google maps and look at the surrounding areas, using the arrow function to study each square mile (or whatever) intently. So then I can tell you which streets run slightly towards the northwest, and which streets run due north. Useful information like that.
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